Sergeant's Diary

[James Palmer]

21/4/08

So, Cordy bought me this log to write stuff down in.
Might aswell make use of it now.

Last night was a good night as far as I was concerned, won the last man and went on to get a silver ankh, duty, recruitment and distinction ribbon, which was nice.. was also made sergeant which was good, so hopefully I can prove myself as a good one, time will tell.
The Ironarms were tutted upon for having their armour obviously being used, with the people who never wear it getting praised for having good armour.. bit stupid, but hey.

Was requested to take the people on a suicidal patrol after my promotion; so after the usual wave of people wanting to be dismissed I was left with a handful of people willing to take on the Pass, that Tripps and the Captain have made infamous.

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We did alright, got to write that report after this. Another thing we can cross off the grudge list anyway.

*Slots a copy of a report inside the page* (http://www.guvadan.net/forum/showthread.php?p=14812#post14812)

Afterwards was pretty knackered really, so headed off to bed..
Didn't last long though, Graham's teething and it's driving me up the wall.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

22/04/08

Was summoned to Stonekeep shortly after dinner tonight, so we had to drop Graham off at Cordy's mothers, and then make our way down to the keep.
Kevin had a fitness training type thing planned out for us.
First thing was a run to the Eastern outpost and back, which I seemed to just win with Dart coming a close second, i'm sure he'd disagree. Then we had to run around some sqaure thing, while Kevin shouted out numbers which meant we had a task to do, such as press ups, or change direction.. obviously everyone ended up going in different ways, and doing their own thing.

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He was setting something up and told us to go and have a last man standing on the roof of the citadel, so we did.. and after Tripps and Dart took me down, Dart wasted no time flooring Tripps.
Then he held some gauntlet thing which Tripps, Dart and some church bloke tried to get through, only Tripps managing to do it, with his overly large mace, the Wilkes family managed to contain Dart though, so I guess we got one over on him, finally.

Next up came the tavern night which began with myself and Dart moving tables around while the wives, Larynda and Kevin watched..
Convosation swiftly turned vile as we discussed baby names, and Kyra and Tim's relationship, and dogs..
Then folk left so I headed off for the night aswell.

I still need to find a decent riding instructor, I can only just get on and off and move slowly..

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

23/04/08

Another day with Tripps sailing, sounds like a good day, but oh no, not when there's nine other guardsmen on the small vessle, crammed with glowing nets, and filled with dead fish.
We set sail from the abbey, sailed into deep open water and began tossing nets over board.. gradually we were left with some funny looking nets which we threw in one by one, the funnier the colour, the more fish it brought up, they clearly have better colour vision that I do..

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Finally, the bright white one went in and brought up a bright white kraken thing, which proceeded to wipe the floor with us.
We got back in just about one piece, and lined up by the abbey for some important thing with Dart.

Apparently we were to help another caravan in Felucca, and myself and Dart had the 'honour' of carrying two swords of said caravan, the swords were f-ugly and came under no attack during the entire trip, which I guess makes it successfully boring, I had to cut short the victory celebrations in order to save Graham from his grandmother, poor kid.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

24/04/08

Was my first command meeting in command last night, was pretty similar to the first one to be honest back when I was a candidate, same topics, same people, same 'mature' convosations.
Then after Tanya held a short kit inspection, which everyone seemed to do alright in.
After that Dart had us dressing as pirates and chasing around for clues and hidden treasure, I managed to get the key to the chest early on, which sparked a big effort from the besiegers to floor me, but I just out ran them and disarmed them if they got near me, so it was all good. After running all over Yew I ran into Cordy who had a chest with her, I tired the key and to our shock it was the correct chest and key, and we had won the competition and the copper that came with it.

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After that I had some squire from the church whispering to me about Young and Kyra, so I warned them about being careful around the church and so on, she seemed to start crying and run off, so I went home and let Young go after her.
Got home and put Graham to bed, and then wasn't to far behind him myself.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

25/04/08

So Cordelia won the Sharpshooter thing this season, while I was stuck at home watching Graham crawl into walls. Finally managed to arrange a babysitter and headed out to duty to find a few folk scattered around, so I called a line up to prepare for my campaign against an empty citadel which I've just returned from.

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Took them down to the orc fort with an idiotic craftsman, who liked running around with Orc heads stuck to his face, but regardless we got what we went for.
I then had to think about how I was going to do things tonight, which went alright.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

26/04/08

Good lord, yesterday was stressful, trying to organise two craftsmen to create things that I'd already written down and got resources for.
One of them, Windal, was such a grumpy bastard, I got attacked for watching, attacked for bringing him leather.. verbally abused, and also got the finger! The other was slightly more reserved but had picked the bigger of the two lists, so took longer which made Windal think he was better, but eventaully they both finished their lists, and headed home.

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So was left to me to drag all pack horse through stonekeep, aswell as dragging an extra crate which the lazy horses couldn't carry, then was the task of manouvering the horses through the citadel which isn't as easy as it sounds. Started packing the supplies away, when Walker turned up to lend a hand which made it slightly quicker. At least it's done now, time to head home and plot Tripps' death, as he's made this office stink to high heaven of fish.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

27/04/08

Strange day.. hardly saw anyone really, I had to convince Annwyn that leading her event would not make her unpopular, and then convince her that it wouldn't be boring either, I thought I did alright, but apparently she never turned up, oh well.
Next was onto writing out shite loads of recruitment posters, and then setting off to drop them all over the place, that took forever.

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On my return I found the guilty party heading out of my office, so I hurled some abuse at him, and eventually he explain as to why he'd put fish in my office, trying to help the harvest apparently. Then the cheeky bugger asked me for help with some puddles in a swamp so he could gety some gland for the healers, apparently the golden puddles are not to be messed with as they nearly killed Tony, poor sod.
Headed back to my office and sorted out the rest of my gear, touched up the scratches and dents and then headed off home for a quiet night in with Cordy and Graham.

Got somethings going on tonight, should be interesting.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

27/04/08

Yesterday was fun, started off with a very quiet night in the keep, Aiden returned claiming he had been the victim of some plauge or something, then Kevin dragged us off to help him with farming, which got me pretty muddy, Raslo seeming to pull up just short of one hundred carrots.
The Tripps decided to check all our packs, 'cause only Kevin's was dodgey.

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Then came the call to line up in Stonekeep, where we were made aware of a Vesparian force heading towards Stonekeep, Dart split us up into two groups, myself Cordy and Walker to set up defenses, which were then torn down as we moved to defend the citadel. And the other team, Longshot, Tripps, Wolfgar.. and someone else I think was sent off spying around Yew.
After taking refuge in the Citadel and making a blockade behind the doors, we sat in wait of their arrival. Eventually it came, bringing forth the wave of wytches which, after a while were shot down, and drove away from Stonekeep. We gathered in Stonekeep and heard them re-gathering in t he distance, so naturally we all took up vantage points out of sight so that we could jump them as they entered the keep. Again, we slaughtered them. It's always nice when I get a few finishing hits in, think I got five or six.

Then we move onto the ever 'fair' Last Man Standing, Walker and Tripps against myself and Cordy, naturally the siegers obliterated Cordy and then proceeded to chase me about the arena, eventually I blacked out and woke up just as Tripps whacked me across the head with his huge mace, so then I blacked out again. Which left Walker and Tripps, Walker obviously winning.

I headed home shortly after, as I was completely knackered, still feeling abit under the weather, so not sure if I'll make a showing tonight or not.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

28/04/08

Yesterday was fun, started off with a very quiet night in the keep, Aiden returned claiming he had been the victim of some plauge or something, then Kevin dragged us off to help him with farming, which got me pretty muddy, Raslo seeming to pull up just short of one hundred carrots.
The Tripps decided to check all our packs, 'cause only Kevin's was dodgey.

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/4447/diary7hl2.jpg

Then came the call to line up in Stonekeep, where we were made aware of a Vesparian force heading towards Stonekeep, Dart split us up into two groups, myself Cordy and Walker to set up defenses, which were then torn down as we moved to defend the citadel. And the other team, Longshot, Tripps, Wolfgar.. and someone else I think was sent off spying around Yew.
After taking refuge in the Citadel and making a blockade behind the doors, we sat in wait of their arrival. Eventually it came, bringing forth the wave of wytches which, after a while were shot down, and drove away from Stonekeep. We gathered in Stonekeep and heard them re-gathering in t he distance, so naturally we all took up vantage points out of sight so that we could jump them as they entered the keep. Again, we slaughtered them. It's always nice when I get a few finishing hits in, think I got five or six.

Then we move onto the ever 'fair' Last Man Standing, Walker and Tripps against myself and Cordy, naturally the siegers obliterated Cordy and then proceeded to chase me about the arena, eventually I blacked out and woke up just as Tripps whacked me across the head with his huge mace, so then I blacked out again. Which left Walker and Tripps, Walker obviously winning.

I headed home shortly after, as I was completely knackered, still feeling abit under the weather, so not sure if I'll make a showing tonight or not.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

29/04/08

Last night saw the return of a legend, Tim Spangles. He claimed he'd had the plauge and nearly lost his legs, but was alright now.
Didn't have time to catch up much more, I had to fetch Graham.

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Abit later on I headed down to the keep to see if anything was going on at the tavern night, they were playing a game of 'pictionary' where you drew sommat on a chessboard with the piece and folk tried to guess what you were drawing. Didn't last too long, then we headed outside. Spangles wanted to see if he could still fight, so me and Walker chased him around and eventually floored him.

Then myself and Walker went toe to toe for ages, until eventually he got me down..

Oh well, Tripps is leading something tonight, wonder what that will bring..

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

30/04/08

Yesterday began with myself and Tripps whacking each other with our maces for abit, floored him, then I had one of my 'blackouts' and Tripps beat me down..
Then the cheeky bastard asked me to cover for him at the start of his event so I made the early birds do some parade training, which they were suprisingly good at after I reminded them of the one, two, three, act rule.
Then Tripps gave us a choice of A or B.. and we chose A, which meant we were heading to Tokuno in search of a glowing beetle, we finally arrived near the beetle's lair and dispatched it rather quickly, the hardest part was the giant slug that set on us afterwards, took us ages to take it down, along with the many wolves that came along with it. Spangles' donkey was knocked down on the way, oh well.

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Then once we got back I was invited to check the besiegers backpacks, which were alright.
Then as the night drew on, convosation turned into eating babies and bobas.. so not the most thrilling topics ever.
I headed home to have Cordelia pester me to take her and Graham out for our first family meal out, so we headed to Makoto to have some sushi.. which she made me get changed for... bloody women, my uniform was fine.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

01/05/08

What a bad day yesterday was.
Started out as a normal day, Captain's event where we made a list of beasties and tried to kill them all in thirty minutes, however due to Spangles wanting to kill two thousand Liches, we failed with 1960 liches left. Was good fun, had to kill mongbats, orcs, succubi ecetera.


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Then as we got back to Stonekeep and settled down, I head someone shouting something along the lines of 'Oh my god, Radek!?'.. So turning around I see the one person I wish it wasn't.. Ruthie. The insane ex, wanting kids after two weeks, and marriage after three. She tried her best to get me alone, and I resisted for ages until I was pretty much told to go by Dart, so off we went into the Tavern where she asked about Jobs in Stonekeep and about my wife. Claiming all the while that she wasn't here to break up my marriage, yeah right.

After she went, myself, the Darts and Walker were sat in the tavern when a crash came from upstairs, sounding like a window smash, a quick glance out of the window saw a group of thugs lined up outside, so we all headed outside and a fight broke out.. and after a few seconds we'd defeated them all..

Returned to the keep to find Madsen and Ruthie chatting behind the citadel, and then the Templi seemed to have interupted Madsen's attempt to chat Ruthie up, then the Templi told me Madsen was being an arse, and to have a 'word' with him..
Saw Madsen and Ruthie stop outside my house later on, so now she knows where I live, joy.

Going to try and avoid her from now on, hope i'm successful..

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

02/05/08

Yesterday started out quietly, so I thought i'd get myself abit of copper and set to work on some tasks, building a nice treehouse for Dart, and fetching lots of cider pears from some horny woman who wanted sexual payment for the pears, but eventually I managed to persuade her to take a check.

Then I had a rather frantic pigeon message with a note to gather in Stonekeep, so I rode down there to find a few guardsmen and the main Templi bloke, with the other Templi.. he told us to gather as many men as possible, we managed about five. We headed off to the moongate, and he marched us down to the 'den of sin', which is the Swaggers. Once there I was told to take folk into the Swaggers and bring out any people that were inside, so I did.

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When we headed back outside, a gathering of Vesper Militia had.. gathered, and the Templi began to preach at them, they showed little interest and argued back, and when their own 'father' arrived, a battle broke out. We battered them, not one injury on our side..
Some moron then came running from the swaggers claiming to be a 'spellcaster', so naturally we arrested him, and the Templi had us tie him to a lampost where he made him confess, and convert... and told him to come to Stonekeep on sunday for his baptism, he nailed some parchment to his stomach to remind him on.

All in all, a good day. No sign of Ruthie.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

03/05/08

Lord, Yesterday was a long day.
Saw Tripps in a dress, sang a song.. went to Skitas.
All started with me deciding to go on a lone patrol to the blood dungeon.
I headed into the dungeon to find a balron flying around there, so after a long fight I managed to land some fatal shots into it's head.
I carried on around killed a few imps, and a couple of blood puddles and a load of deamons, including a looong fight with a golden deamon.

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I then headed back to the keep and called a line up of Tripps and Kyra, and decided we'd do something about the vandalism in the tavern. All started well untill Tripps melted some of the mongbat, and then decided to try and blow Kyra up. So the tavern got messy, but eventually we had it ship-shape.

Shortly after, Fraser called a line up and said that due to the lack of fishermen and the lack of fish, the cats of Yew have left the farms and let vermin attack the harvest. So we headed to the abbey and began fishing! We had ten minutes to catch as many as possible, Kyra kept stealing my fish, so I borrowed some of hers and claimed my victory with six fish to four.

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Then we headed around farms dropping off the cat food, then proceeded to a farm to rid it of it's pests, some bright glowing rabbits, fast and strong little bastards, we found three and only managed to kill one.

Thinking that the evening's events were over, I settled in Stonekeep partaking in the idle chatter, then D'Gar called a bloody line up, and split us into teams. My team; Fraser and Cordy, against Tim's team; Tripps and Kyra.
The first task was to get some gems for D'Gar, Tripps has a gem collection so we naturally lost that, and the next game was also more Tripps style, we had to dress convincingly as a member of the opposite sex. Obviously Tripps' team won. The final task was to come up with a catchy recruitment song, and with my lyrical genious, we won.

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As the evening turned into early morning, Tripps called another bloody line up of about five of us. We headed off to the moongate, through to Valor and down to Skitas, bloody place. It was all going so well, taking down lich lords, and all sorts.. Then we charged across skitas trying to get to a stair case, which is when everything went wrong, people got lost, people got knocked, and we got separated. Eventually accepting Aiden's death, we regrouped in the safe room and prayed out.

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Again, no sign of Ruthie.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

04/05/08

Yesterday was dull, spent the entire day sorting my crap out at home. Cordy got to fed up of my 'constant messy habbits'. By the time i'd finished and put Graham to bed, was far to late to do anything other than go to bed myself.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

05/05/08

So, lying here in a make-shift shelter shipwrecked in the lost lands somewhere. Bloody Tripps got us shipwrecked last night.
The day started better than normal, a recruit showed up which is a first.
Got him sorted and took him to the graveyard for some fighting.. then Longshot turned up so I let him take over.

Abit later on Dart and Tanya were 'warming up' and Dart brought the dog out to scare her stupid, so she ran around and lost the dog a fee times.. was accused of killing it and all sorts.
Then came the last man standing, the practise was me left with Tripps and Walker.. which obviously didn't end too well.
And then final was myself, Gotrek and Walker left in the final three, Gotrek shot me down with his heavy crossbow and then got whacked by Walker, so normality was resumed.

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Then came the sailing, we were to go off and do naval excersises.. now we got to the lost lands, and then got lost..
Tripps sailed us into a cliff face.. and we began to take on water, so we had to make an emergency docking on a near by beach, and then the ship sunk. We found another wrecked ship on the beach, and split into twos exploring the island. Myself and Cordy found some Vesparians at the southern end of the island who had been shipwrecked.

After some talk we sold them Aiden and Kevin for two Bobas, which have been made into the currency. Myself and Cordy headed off and set up our own camp, she's not the happiest person ever, missed Graham obviously.. those 'motherly cravings' to tend to her child I suppose.
So we settled down and had an early night.
Got to try and find a way out of here today.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

06/05/08

I saved the day again.
Day two on the island started with a lengthy fishing session with Tripps, and a few patrols around the island.
Apparently the advocate in yew was portalling guardsmen to this island.. however was not able to take us home from there, some sort of test from the big man upstairs. Annwyn and Jason appeared this time, and began gathering wood. The more and more folks began to come to the beach, and we were acompanied by some Vesparians who traded two bobas for some leather. Abit later on, on a lone patrol i stumbled across the folk from Vesper building a raft, after a short bit of banter I headed off back to the beach to find more guardsmen were awake, I made them aware of the raft and we set off to get it back, with Annwyn rambling about how it was 'unfair'.

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Anyway, it became apparent that two people were going to have to sail this raft to Papua, eventually myself and Raslo were chosen as we were the most 'experienced' sailors. We rafted across with abit of difficulty and some crates fell off the raft part way across.

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Once in Papua the harbor master was very understanding and let us borrow his boat to get the others back to safety. After a long sail home the tavern was open and the drinks were free, and Crio came to talk to me about his woman troubles with Imrae. All was nice until some footie ran out and collapsed in a heap of vomit and unconciousness. Took her to the dorms where Ruthie was, uh..
Ruthie was running around making a fuss and dropped a bottle when I started talking about Cordy..

Not much really happened after that, apart from some idiot claiming to have lost his sheep.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

07/05/08

Lord.. what a shocking day yesterday.
Started off with some event run by Dart where we acted out Minderella in combat form.. with people being prince, minderella and folk being ugly sisters trying to stop them being united. Minderella was played by Walker and the prince by Fraser, I was an evil guard and it was my job to beat up the prince.. to cut a long story short fraser broke out of character in the fight, and cheated.

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We then swapped roles and I became an ugly sister and took down Walker who was again Minderella, so this time the evils won.
Then we set about creating our own fairy tail that is far to complicated for me to remember, but I was a green looking horse who was in the centre of a love triangle between Boris Johnson and Ken.. and a stable boy, and master.. and a princess, there was a big fight and everyone was beat up.
So, a normal night upto then..

Standing quietly in the keep I hear that familiar voice behind me.. Ruthie was there to tell us that Amie Sue Yorke had passed away due to poisoning..
I sent Fraser and Kevin to bury her while I contemplated the finer things in life. After a while they returned and we set about standing in Stonekeep again when we heard a scream coming from the direction of home.. myself Young and Kevin ran up and found Cordy sitting on the front step of our house crying and hugging Graham..
She didn't say much, just gestured inside and to the roof..
We went inside to find Cordy's mother stabbed through the neck in a pool of her own blood, and on the roof we looked down and saw Ayame at the bottom with a broken neck..

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I told the two to cover the corpses and tidy the blood away while I spoke with Cordy about what happened. She described the attacker as a woman dressed in white, she described Ruthie..
Stupid bitch, when will she realise that no matter what she does I won't go back to her..
For the rest of the evening I was condoling Cordy, and took a 'statement' from her to use in the trial when we catch Ruthie.
So I need to set up an investigation now..

Bloody women.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

08/05/08

Managed to stop Cordy crying yesterday, so things are looking up.
Went to the keep last evening to find Tripps and Crio, we stood talking for ages about the new boat myself and tripps have bought. Then Crio decided to take us to the orc caves and the Templi bloke came with us aswell. We went right to the end killing the big buggers. Headed back after a while and stood around doing nothing again, until the D'Gar's turned up and yelled at Criofan for apparently 'leading their daughter astray' which he hasn't to be honest, so I asked Larynda to give Crio permission to say 'no' to Imrae so he keeps out of trouble. They went away and then Imrae turned up and began to question Criofan, so I took them both into the tavern and explained to Imrae that she's getting Crio into alot of trouble and all that.. she didn't seem best pleased but it's her own fault.

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Then Hacke took us sailing on our new boat, I let Tripps have the helm this time to boost his confidence back up after crashing on his last voyage. We did a few nets, nothing special krakens, water elemental things.. serpants. Headed back when we'd done and did pretty much nothing after that.

No sign of Ruthie yet..

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

11/05/08

Havn't been on duty in a few days, had to attend funerals and look after a sick child. Finally managed to escape onto Duty the other night, Thursday I think it was..
Tripps was in the middle of running some fitness thing which I was hauled into, we had to wear some crap armour parts and find some crap weapons and run around and beat the crap out of each other. I managed quite well until it became apparent that everyone who was playing was after me.. which ended in Atheratii winning.

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Absolutely nothing else happened after that, so I went back to bed.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

12/05/08

Went to the keep last night to find just myself and Dart standing there for ages, with the odd scream coming from the citadel. After a while the Friar bloke came out and told us that an elf was going to be executed later today, that should be fun.
Then folk spilled out of the citadel and we set about with the last man standing. A few practise rounds, and a team game or two which were fun, I think my team won, so it's all good.

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Then onto the real thing.. ended up with myself against Fraser, Tripps and a footman, stupidly I thought the footman would help me and aid me against the besiegers, but oh no! He started attacking me so I had to floor him, and then ran laps around the citadel roof with the besiegers chasing me, eventually I got so bored I collapsed. Fraser beat Tripps in the final which lasted just about as long.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

13/05/08

Yesterday was quite hectic, I had to fill in for the Squire for a while, while he fetched some burning apparatus or something. I had the gathered people have a game of two on two, which consisted of me and Atheratii against Fraser and Walker, then Longshot joined in aswell as Kyra and it all got abit hectic. Eventually the Friar turned up and the barbeque could begin. They fetched the elf from the cells and we set up a pyre.. then the elf was tied to it, the burning began and then I arranged a firing squad to impale the corpse with bolts. Then we stood and listened to a prayer for a while about something.

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After the burning came the tavern evening and the couples quiz. One person from the pair was taken upstairs to answer questions about their other half while the other half answered the same ones downstairs. Then after that round we moved onto a general knowledge round. The scores were announced, myself and Cordelia scored 13/16 on the quiz about each other, and also 8/10 on the general knowledge one, making us clear winners by 5 points, over Walker and Annwyn. It's put me in the good books for a while, even if I did forget her eye colour. We took home the prize of one million gold so it was all good.

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After that! D'Gar had us march to cove to investigate something, turned out to be a rabble of taints, nothing thrilling there. We then marched down to Swaggers to tax the Vesparians, apparently they didnt like it and attacked us. So after a small fight we took our taxes and left them to lick their wounds.

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A pretty good day really.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

14/05/08

D'Gar took us to cove again yesterday.. again there was a gathering of taintlings, however this time we deicided to tax the taintlings, which went down quite well. Covian Sergeant turned up and told us to bugger off, to cut a long story short we beat him up. Then finally some creatures appeared then were killed within a few seconds, all dissapointing really.

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We headed from Cove to Vesper and searched around for a while, couldn't find a single thing. We headed back to Yew to find the Vesper militia standing in Stonekeep! Bloody rats. Obviously a fight broke out, and we won again.

Normality restored.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

18/05/08

Again it's been a while, however finally something worth while writing about happened last night. We all gathered for Bagball training, that's me and the Dart's to find out it was called off so we went hunting, lord that gathered more people than Bagball.
I stupidly mentioned that there was invasions in Cove and Jhelom and we went to check them out, apparently they only invade at certain times of the day, and no one believed me!

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So in frustration we went to Chaos and killed several Balrons..
Not much to write about, but it's something!

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

19/05/08

Last night was the Last man standing.. and as per usual I try to rally some form of Iron arm 'team'.. and I end up with me and Longshot. Sadly the besiegers caught on and proceeded in taking him and Atheratii down rather quickly, in all the rounds.

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Oh.. we won a team round but that was about it. The two practise rounds were identicle. They took Atheratii down.. then Kevin, then chased me around for an age. Eventually Dart ended them practise before they could get me.. but he let the final go on. Anyway, surprisingly Fraser beat Walker in the final.. which is a turn up for the books.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

21/05/08

Got to write two entries today.. couldn't get to my office after the bagball the other night. Monday was just another monday until I got a frantic pigeon message from Aiden asking me to take the lads to Britain to play bagball with the Britons.
I had the tailor knock us some yew militia colour strips.. and then sat around waiting for the 'team' to arrive. I think we feilded our strongest team really, myself, Dart Daelia and Walker, who all looked so-very fetching in their strips. We met the Britons at the bad lands side of the Britain gate and headed north west to the bagball pitch.
I asked Tripps to ref the game so that I could play and he agreed, so it was all good. We were to play a game of ten minutes. To cut a very dominant game short, we won 7 - 0.

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I offered them a 'warm down' game afterwards and they accepted, so we had another five minute game which we won 4 - 0.
Headed back to Yew after to the Tavern and had an ale while Larynda tried to be funny by calling us officers fat.. and then we got onto Dart's insulting habits.
Not much else happened really.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

21/05/08

Last night was good!
Lord D'Gar had us gather in the keep and sent the waywatchers off to Vesper to spy on their militia.
I lead the remainder to Minoc to stand around by the bank and awaiting the waywatcher report.
We finally got the report that they were heading to Minoc so we prepared to battle. They eventually arrived acompanied by three or four walking puddles. A few pre-battle insults were hurled and then we engaged in a fight. Only losing Cordy and D'Gar we stuffed them in the first fight.. we formed in a building after the fight as we got word of them planning another attack. And they did! They ran in and we reigned bolts on them and they ran out into our waywatchers who dispatched them. Two solid victories for us.

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We went home happy and I bought everyone a drink.. was feeling generous.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

22/05/08

Yesterday only consisted of the command meeting really, we discussed usual things, recruitment.. trouble makers, ecetera. Before we managed to settle into the meeting some looney was asking for Dart, somehow he's got passed the 'security' measures.

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Then I headed home and spent the rest of the evening with the family!

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

23/05/08

Yesterday there was another one of those caravan things, we went to Britain badlands and gathered on the bridge. Dart was given one of the swords we were caravanning to Yew. We set off towards Yew at a steady pace and encountered several murderers on the way, we chased and shot down many.
We carried on the march, word spread fast that a sword had been stolen, in the distance I spotted a murderer fleeing with the sword, I rode after him along with a few others and shot him down.

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I jumped off my horse and gathered the sword from his corpse, and then rejoined the caravan.
We marched through the old stonekeep, and eventually into the town where we gathered and handed the swords in. I didn't even get a thanks for saving the day, alls I got was pestered by some bloody murdered in Yew centre! After we sorted that out we headed back to to re-stock and prepare for a trip to Minoc.

D'Gar had be line up the guardsmen and gather more, and sooner or later we had a sizeable force. He split the force into three, waywatchers, archers, and 'other'. Dart lead the 'others' mainly besiegers. And I had the marksmen. We headed to Minoc where we got a scout report that their militia was at the bank, my unit ran around the bank and ambushed them from behind. Where as the other two hit them head on.

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We obliterated them.
After this D'Gar sent Dart's unit to Swaggers, and my unit to hold the bank, we knew their forces were still in Minoc, no idea why he left three of us against them all. Then he sent us north, and lo and behold we found them, all formed up. Three of us against seven. It was suicide. Atheratii was quickly taken down and myself an d Cordelia awaited back up. Back up eventually came and we were victorious once more.

Not a bad day after all.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

26/05/08

I was given the job of looking after Graham last night as Cordy went to the last man standing. Apparently she tells me she won the wrestling, and that some yeller won the last man. We brought Graham to the keep and had Annwyn tease Sineal with the baby.

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Then some Orcs showed up and spat on me, so we floored them. We took Graham home after that, else I doubt he'd of slept through.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

27/05/08

Well, I'm off on holiday in a few minutes just got time to scribble down last nights happenings. Was the tavern night with a twist.. that people could be a barman for the evening. I suggested that Sineal did it which ended up with me doing it. I looked like a complete prat in a bonnet and everyone began to order food left right and centre. I'm not that good of a cook and Dart ordered the meat feast pie.. bastard. It was going alright until Aiden called me downstairs for an ale, and my pie began to burn. Daelia wasn't too happy with the state of the kitchen and kept trying to get in the way. I got a few tips aswell!

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The topic of baby names came up, Cordelia's ever so funny 'Redd' name caused lots of 'Greeen' and 'Bluee' suggestions. Dart wants to name his child Foley, I think it's good.

Anyway, time for me to go!

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

02/06/08

Well, that holiday was very relaxing. Didn't do a great deal for a week apart from eat, sleep and play with Graham, back to work straight away last night however. Just in time to see my old pupill, Tripps lead his first patrol as Corporal.
I don't brag very often but for my one and only pupil he couldn't of turned out much better. Progress medals as a footie and the same as rookie, followed by promotion to accepted then Corporal all under a year. I think I did a pretty damn good job.

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He took us down to the liches and we killed some, pretty much it really.
Headed off to sort out my armour afterwards.


Wilkes

[James Palmer]

03/06/08

Tavern night without the Darts wasn't much different. We started of trying to come up with a 'secret' nickname for Blad, there was a few suggestions, Captain Fart, Peesack Dart, Bladderus Tart.. not all good suggestions.
Then Clarence Darling (How unfortunate) came into the Tavern and got torn apart by Aiden, Verity turned up and made some crude innuendos and then left when we pointed out that she was dirty minded. There was also some weird banner in Stonekeep about shaving the Shadowlings, no idea what that was about.

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Topic turned to bagball, Darling's name, Britannia Guard's Baron that we're rescusing later today or something.
People left and eventually it was only me Aiden and Tripps left, three ironarms. It's about time there was some more.
I wanted to get a task done so we set out to Chaos to find a golden balron.. so we went to blood instead. After quickly killing a Balron, I took it's sword and pondered about what to do. I decided upon using the abyss vortex thing to destroy the sword, and Tripps wanted to get rid of his explosives. To u shoved the sword into the vortex and Tripps unleashed his bombs on the vortex. Job well done.

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Decided to do a 'lap' around blood and kill some blood puddles and deamons. Was a very impressive show from the three of us to be honest, toe to toe with a balron, bloods and so on.
Went home and went to bed after a chat with Tripps in the Keep.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

04/06/08

Another grand tuesday!
Started with a lone patrol to blood to beat a few deamons up.
The Aiden called us all to Stonekeep to tell us that Baron Edmund had been kidnapped by Vesper, and that we were going to free him. We met up with the Britannian's at the moongate and marched down to Vesper. We arrived and headed around to hit them from the south, with no warning we charged in and obliterated them, and set the Baron free.

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He gave a very 'moving' speech that said he'd help us where ever, so we told him to help in Minoc afterwards. We waited around in the keep for a while until it was time to move for Minoc, quite a few of us were about for this fight.
We headed off to Minoc and found Vesper there with Cove helping them! They had about nineteen odd fighters to our fifteen, needless to say we gave them a damn good spanking.

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They quickly regrouped and we were fighting again, this time it was more even, slowly D'Gar and Dart went down followed by Sineal, so I had to take command, first time really. Needless to say I lead us to victory against overwhelming odds. Headed back home to reap in the glory of victory.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

05/06/08

For a small hobbit, Daelia sure has a big temper.
Bagball training last night, she wasn't at her best evidently and the chin ups at the start didn't amuse her.

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We then moved onto defense training which I won obviously, defending's always been my best point, however last night I won with attacking aswell.
Daelia went into a fit of rage because I was simply to quick with the ball and she couldn't keep up. Lets hope she gets over it before the match with Vesper.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

06/06/08

Another hour spent in blood yesterday, it's quite relaxing spending time 'alone' gives me time to think, aswell as take any frustrations out on the deamons. Then Dart called us into a line up as we had to aid in Felucca again delivering another caravan, I have no idea how it turned out as I ignored the caravan and beat up the murderers then rode back to Yew as my time on duty had finished for the evening.
Apparently we battered Vesper in Minoc again so my being off duty was not as great an impact as I thought it'd be, good to know the militia can hold up without me I suppose.

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Later in the evening I went down to the keep to visit Cordy after her marksman meeting and ended up on a hunt to blood with Darling (The footman), Tripps and Cordy. We were after a blood elemental.. at first we ran into a golden Balron but some quick thinking and we went to the side and found one instead. We killed a couple until a golden one turned up, myself and Tripps took command here and ordered to hold, we made the archers take down the imps while myself and Tripps took the full force of the elemental, after a long fight we finally floored the golden puddle.
Back in the keep some fella who used to be a trainee showed up talking to us about how things were going, apparently when he's got himself sorted he's going to sign up.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

07/06/08

Well, third morning on the trot i've visited blood, apparently they prepared for my arrival in the form of golden deamons, i went toe to toe with it for about twenty minutes and the bugger just kept healing itself too quickly, so I made my way out. Next came a patrol around the town with Tripps and Longshot we asked the locals if they were alright and stuff, the baker didn't like me bringing Tony into his shop, what a tit.
Next up was.. hmm. Oh yeah, after the trip to Yew centre I thought i'd do some spontaneous training and ordered everyone to attack each other, but keep each other up. We did very well until Kevin disobeyed the 'don't disarm' order, so we floored him. Then was my most triumphant moment of the evening, defeating Tripps toe to toe! Hah! Then we headed off to Britain with Cordy and Verity to acompany the three of us, we made some cloth-drawing thing of Stonekeep with a Yew tree..

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Then I met the new Baron of Vesper in Britain and told him to get rid of the stupid vesparian militia woman from the bank, so he did..
Then I found my horse had been attacked by some unknown plank, and then I had to watch Kevin kill a dragon as he wants to go back into the marksmen.. after that we felt suicidal so we started on one of them bigger dragons, after a few falls and slips we killed it. Then I went home and the day ended!

*A sketch of the britain bridge art-work is drawn into the diary*
http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/558/brittreeqc4.jpg


Wilkes

[James Palmer]

08/06/08

Yesterday was a turn up for the books, Tripps decided to take up archery, so I was back in the past again teaching him all over again, he should never have given it up.
We spent an hour ot two at the archery buttes where he was abit hit and miss but seemed to get better towards the end, getting some flukey bullseyes.

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Most of his bolts ended up in the water, but at least he began to hit it more towards the end.
Not much happened after that, everything that was planned was cancelled.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

09/06/08

Yesterday was a long day, started with me and Tripps going to Tokuno to kill some yellers and gather some coin and whatnot. We went and worked our way around their temple thing, picking the outsiders off and bringing back over twenty grand. Then Stonekeep was invaded by orcs abit later on, so me and Kevin delt with them.
I had been asked to run the last man standing as Dart had to do something, the initial line up was shockingly bad, three people, but gradually two more appeared and things look okay. I did a team game with Walker and Tripps against Fraser, Kevin and Cordy, Tripps' team lost the first game but won the second when I allowed Walker to disarm. Next I had them do bulldog and Kevin was the first dog, which lead to Cordy winning, Tripps was the next dog which lead to Walker winning.

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Then I moved onto the last man practise which Walker won, I think, with Tripps coming second, the final I allowed disarming for a change as everyone there was able to and wanted to, and it lead to a shockingly unpredictable Fraser and Walker final which lead to the even more shocking result of Walker winning.
Then Longshot wanted us to help him with killing a big bird for his new hat so we had to go and do that, after beign chased by a golden huge dragon we made it into chaos and killed the bird, on the way out Kevin hadn't realised that luring the big pissed off dragon to the moongate might've spelled a problem on the way out.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

10/06/08

Tavern night is always full of good convosation, talking about Blad's son possibly being gay, and also that he enjoys perving on Cordy and Annwyn. Annwyn started mothering Walker by wiping his mouth and blowing his nose much to his dislike. We spoke about the upcoming bagball game with Vesper and what our possible team could be; Walker, myself Blad and Aiden, seems the likely team.
After folk had left Atheratii decided to take us out on a hunt to the Lost lands, we went there via the jail passage and headed to the orphidian lair. Upon arrival we formed and took down countless snakes, edging our way to the lair, forming and killing all the way. We headed inside the building and were swarmed and knocked down, after a short while we all regrouped and battered the basatrds so it was alright.

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We headed out and it suddenly dawned on me that Cordy wasn't with us, so I halted the patrol and demanded that she be found. Annwyn couldn't find her or a body, so we had to head back and hope.
It was a good job she was in the keep when I got back, she was speaking with a young looking lad, he approached me about joining the militia so I set about testing him, which he passed.
A good night really, successful patrol and a new recruit.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

11/06/08

Went to Chaos with Tripps last night and killed stone creatures and a Balron, was all pretty easy. Then after Darling had given me soem chickens Walker ran a training. In the training he put me and Tony against Tripps and Verity, obviously myself and Tony defeated Tripps and Verity. Then we did some blood box thing where you went toe to toe in a box.. it was all going well until Walker made me take my armour off, and we all know what happens when you go unarmoured against a besieger or an ex besieger, bastards. Then we did a four-way blood box which me and Tripps drew.

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Then it was off to Minoc, I lead the tropps about Minoc searching for any members of the 'northern alliance', but we found none. So after that I lead the troops to Vesper to interrogate the folk. I sent the besiegers into the Tavern to stirr some trouble and Tripps and myself questioned a chest weilding bloke, he said the chest contained boots, but I didn't believe him myself. Aiden picked up the chest and apparently heard ticking, so I asked the besiegers to take a look at the ticking chest. The Vesperians refused to open it, which only made me think it was a bomb even more.. after alot of arguing we had a controlled explosion outside.
I let the besiegers beat the man with clubs, but before they could he set upon Fraser with his dagger, so a fight broke out. Needless to say we won without loss. Headed back home afterwards and wasted the rest of the night away.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

12/06/08

Yesterday was another glorious day for Yew.
Started with the command meeting where we established a great.. deal.
Next onto the bagball game against Vesper. Started well and we quickly netted a first goal, obviously the claims of cheating were thrown at us and quickly batted away by the non-bias ref (aiden). We then moved on to net seven more goals, a hatrick for me, accopanied by Dart's 'hilarious' songs about our team, they were pretty good apart from the effort that was my song. He could've at least tried.

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They scored, then we scored making the final score 8-1. Their new baron couldn't take the loss and hurled abuse at us, so Dart punched him. Naturally Vesper being bad losers they had to resort to violence and set their flaming cats on Dart, who lay down and played dead. Then we proceeded to nail the rest of them and head off home to add up the goals and who scored what.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

14/06/08

Havn't written since thursday but nothing happened then anyway. However last night was very strange and unexpected. Dart had us lined up and informed of us a expedition we were going on to Tokuno. We went via the moongate and were quickly heading up the road towards Mount Sho, we took meat samples from the near by wildlife and then it became apparent that there was a big red mushroom with white speckles on the floor, Dart insisted I ate the mushroom..
Then it all went down hill...

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I began seeing strange flashes and colours and before I knew it I was being attacked by hordes of ants, giant, man eating ants. I vaugely remember hurting myself on a tree and being lead around by Tripps on a rope. Things really between eating the 'shrooms and sobering up are alittle hazey. I know Walker had mushrooms aswell as he was claiming to have defeated the guardian when I was becoming sober.
Eventually staggered my way back to Stonekeep and had a long sit down before I was called to the keep to deal with an out of work barmaid looking for work.. after a short talk with me and Tripps, we decided that she could start the job. Her name was Amarante I think, I reckon something might happen between her and Tripps y'know.
Watch this space.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

15/06/08

Last night I decided to take Tripps and Fraser back to Tokuno and collect the mushrooms that we consumed the night before, the effect of the mushroom was apparently very entertaining so it can't hurt collecting them.
We set off north from the moongate this time and found lots of mushrooms very quickly, I had Tripps and Fraser pick them and bag them up. We continued north and found a big house.. empty but nice. There was them birds outside so we had to kill them..

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Went upto that volcano again from the other side.. wasn't very exciting so we went back down and headed north some more. I recalled being in a burnt out forest before and it wasn't a very fond memory ao we ran through it an d up to the mountain wall at the top of the island. Through the cave there was some woman in the snow who started casting stuff on us, so naturally we formed up and took her down.. her dying scream made two more of them run towards us so we had a short but victorious fight with them aswell.
We prayed back to Stonekeep and I put the mushrooms in the tavern to see if it could add any 'flare' to tavern night.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

16/06/08

Another sunday been and gone now.
Started with a warm up running game where we had to run up and down some stairs to get warmed up, last one running was the winner, went down to me and Walker and eventually he gave up.
Next we had laps of the keep which I thought I'd do on my horse as I out ran them all on the running game thing, obviously Dart doesn't think logically so I had to run six backwards afterwards.
Then we played 'chase the ingot' which was a made up game where 40 green ingots were scattered around Stonekeep aswell as 10 blues ones. The aim of the game was to get as many as you could and keep them in a container on the floor, the person with the most at the end, wins. I gathered almost all of the high scoring ingots but Walker and Tripps chased me around for the entire game and wouldn't let me return to my container. So another moral victory to me.

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Next was setting each other tasks.
Fraser set Walker a task to joint a dead horse in under two minutes, which he half did, sort of. Walker set Cordy a task of punching an orc to death in under two minutes, which she did with a few seconds spare. Cordy set me a task of punching an armed Walker to death, nice one, eh? So I tasked Tripps to help me, we failed obviously, bloody wife! Tripps tasked Fraser to hug twenty orcs in two minutes which he failed, but it was collectively voted to let him pass it to make me the only one to fail. As I was the only one to 'fail' I was to play Denial of Death, I was doing really well until my wife, yet again, shot me.
Then it was onto the Last man standing, first practise round was won by Walker..
Next round was going swimmingly until I ran out of bandages and had to leap out of the arena, leaving Tripps and Walker to fight. Was a good job Tripps won, slightly made up for me running out of bandages.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

17/06/08

Tavern night last night.. wasn't really eventful at all.
Was apparent that Dart and Tanya had fallen out, as the tension in there was pretty high. Took a while for the tavern night to start actually, Tripps was off testing a new trainee and the Dart's were late. The first fifteen or so minutes were spent discussing Bagball with Daelia..

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The new trainee insulted Walker while I crushed a dwarf at darts, Vesper's ex-baron was there talking crap and encouraging the dwarf to hug D'Gar.
Oh, we also wound Annwyn up about Stormberg.
Nothing else really happened.

Wilkes

(OOC: Sorry for the bad pictures, the upload sites are all being arsey, I'll try and sort it asap)

[James Palmer]

18/06/08

Yesterday Tripps held a very random thing, he asked Fraser and Cordy to say the first word that came into their heads, the reply was 'Tavern Cookie' so he decided to have us cook some cookies.
The cookies were to consist of Shade and Shrooms and were to be eaten off duty. I soon found myself and Cordy behind the kitchen cooking the cookies while everyone watched.
Eventually they were ready and Annwyn set about ignoring everyone and ate the cookies, sending her as high as .. a high thing. She told D'Gar that she wanted to see him in swim wear and shamed herself more as the evening progressed.

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Next came the battle with Vesper, apparently they had taken refuge somewhere in Yew and we needed to find them and eradicate them.
We eventually found them at the mill and quickly set about charging at the mill, after a short battle we stood un wounded, and will all of them wounded. They had about eighteen to our ten, so a grand victory.
Apparently they have a some magical healing thing as they all seemed ready to fight again within minutes, them charging at us this time in the mill. We had to scatter to reform up however some people are just not quick enough and ran straight into doors, trees and fireballs.
We were scattered, and both sides had suffered casualties. The last remainders of us was Walker, myself and Tripps, we ran around and picked off several of their fighters then retreated from the mill as we hadn't enough power to break their formation.
We took the mathematical victory scoring about 24 - 12 on the casualty infliction score sheet, so we were twice as good as them with half the numbers, so it was all good.
I went back later that day and it seemed that they had left the mill, probably as they feared we'd return with our full force and have them kneading dough by sun down.
Walker and Annwyn had a row in the keep later on about the swim wear incident, no idea how it turned out.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

19/06/08

Yesterday was pretty eventful.
Started with the bagball match with Cove, we headed to the Luna bagball pitch so find a taint there chanting some words over and over, he seemed in some trance so we left it and headed to the Britain pitch. I had to wait for Cove as they didn't know the way, they took forever.
They finally arrived and we could begin, didn't take long for us to open the scoring through me. After the first half ended I had already claimed by hatrick and we were 6-0 up. The second half brought alot of foul play on their behalf, I was punched and then kicked in the bollocks by their angry Corporal, she was rightly sent to the stands which caused abit of a fuss between Walker and their Captain. Eventually we were able to carry on rampaging to victory, myself bagging another four goals, seven in total.. winning the game 12 - 0.

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When we were back in the keep after the game Cordy ran some fort building stuff, I was paired with Verity to make the fort so we set about getting wood and crates, came back to my fort spot to find Tripps settling down some crates, what a tit. I had clearly claimed the stairs in the name of Wilkes, anyway we had to make do without the stairs and gain Young in compensation, brilliant compensation giving us a sex-crazed waywatcher who got the wrong end of the stick when we told him to 'get wood'. Naturally we came last as Cordy enjoys watching me suffer, she gave the victory to Walker and Annwyn for making lines of crates and putting a boba behind it.

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After that some pirate friend of Amarantes was pricking about in the keep when we got back, and he decided to be racist to Imrae and kick Walker in the helm, we chased him but he got away. Naturally that fuelled his ego and he came back, this time I was ready and jumped on Tony to chase him down, I caught up with him and grabbed my heavy crossbow I lept of Tony and chased him down with the crossbow. Walker put the boot in and we took him back to the citadel, I had him woken as he was completely out cold from Walker's boots to the head. I then branded both of his palms with a 'Y' so that he never forgets what you get for pricking about in Yew.
Not much else happened after that apart from talking with a trainee and Annwyn for abit.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

20/06/08

Walker ran some muffin selling thing on thursday I couldn't stay that long but it was a competition who could sell the most muffins and make the most money. I went to Britain to try and catch some buyers and found Escaflowne there.. he refused to buy my muffins, bastard, as did all the other bloody taints.

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Later that night I went back to the keep to find Oldar there running his own shop, he told me that Tripps had run off with a band of markies and that he feared their death. He spoke about what he was claiming from Tripps' death, rank, women, house, boots..etc.
He then came up with the grand idea of taking the marksman tower as a place to run his shop from. whilst he was setting up shop I got a frantic pigeon message calling me to doom to assist the fallen marksmen. I grabbed Tony and rode to umbra and to doom, there I found all the markies out cold, so being the hero I am I got them all up and out safely with all their gear.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

21/06/08

Last night Tripps wasn't feeling very well so I covered for him.
I wanted to see what the blight grove was all about, and with three people, we didnt get to see much. It was a swampy cave thing behind a tree with some creatures that i've never seen before like a yellow snake thing, a huge red bog thing and big four headed dragon..
Myself, Ath, Verity and Walker battled hard with the creatues in there but frequently we were knocked off our feet, then the pompus prat that is Elliot Heath showed up and began telling us we were doing it wrong. He followed us around for abit and lured some four headed thing after us which knocked us all, i'll have to remember to pump more bolts into him next time we meet.

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We headed back to Stonekeep where Atheratii said she had heard of a dread horn thing, for some reason we had to go to heartwood to pester some elf about how to get into the dread horn place, after a while we were inside and set upon by those thigns that change into you, but a golden one, took us a while to take it down but eventually we did, there were loads of them and wolves in the sandy place, including a big purple wolf which had golden fangs.
We fought for a while and seemed to get no where, so we headed back home. I must get more men togeather to head back into the blgihted grove.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

23/06/08

Didn't do anything on saturday worth writing about really, so I'll skip straight to sunday. First thing was the last man standing, before it took place we had a team archery game thing, me and Fraser against Cordy, Kevin and Walker, as our third team member, Atheratii had to go with a potential bloodied nose. We had to hold and heal, while trying to shoot them down. I managed to kncok Kevin, then Cordy followed after some slick tactical moves by yours truely. So that gave me and Fraser the victory.
Next was the last man standing was nothing out of the ordinary, practise round saw me left with the besiegers, which obviously lead to Walker winning. The real one was myself and Walker left at the end with Fraser and Kevin falling at the same time (or fleeing like a little girl in Kevin's case). Me and Walker went toe to toe for a while until Dart granted Walker the win when he told us to de-armour.

http://xs228.xs.to/xs228/08261/diary28376.jpg

Afterwards Cordy ran some archery duels thing which I was cheated of, somehow Gotrek dodged all my bloody arrows and managed to plant enough into me to win, which then meant he went on to win all his other matches, I had the chance to get into the final but Verity's stroke of pure luck on the buttes was enough to keep me out. Lucky sods. Cordy seems to have plans to move house.. again.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

24/06/08

Yesterday was a strangely quiet Tavern night, after puncing a stray headless to death it was just me and Daelia for ages, until Tripps, Cordy and evenutally Walker turned up to argue about pie pastery. Cordy was pestering about moving house and fixing it, so I guess i'm in for a stressful few weeks.

http://xs128.xs.to/xs128/08262/diary29176.jpg

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

25/06/08

Dart did some training last night which was pretty fun, it started with a game of bulldog which I won, being the bulldog, as no one made the final run.
Next we moved onto some form of team game where we sent one person into a ring at a time.. and the winner stayed in.. last team standing. Our team lost, but only due to the failures of the Britannian!

http://xs128.xs.to/xs128/08263/diary30429.jpg

After that we went onto a large bloodbox where it was a solo version of winner stays on, but armourless. As soon as your current enemy fell, the next rushed in, I managed to win with a total of five straight victories.
Then came the last man standing which again I managed to pull through and defeat Tripps unarmoured and toe to toe to take the victory!
A very victorious night for me.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

26/06/08

Nothing much to write about last night, command meeting and some craftie that wanted to learn about the militia, oh and catching Tripps and that wench girl Amarante at the moongate, if really hope he doesn't get himself involved with her, looks like it's too late though.

http://xs128.xs.to/xs128/08264/diary31553.jpg

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

28/06/08

Kevin managed to patronise us beyond belief last night by teaching us that we should not use fire to dry our wooden bows if they got wet, as they might burn. Apart from that it was a supprisingly informing lesson on bow care, however I think I'll still take it to the local fletcher. Myself and Dart set about Dart set about debating which one of us Verity fancied the most which was quite entertaining. Some Skaran merchant interupted the lesson try to sell his wares, we politely agreed that he should came back afterwards, which he did. I purchased a big white pearl from him for 2,500, with the intention of giving it to Cordelia.

http://xs128.xs.to/xs128/08266/diary32233.jpg

However! I then set about trying to stir life into the graveyard shift my trying to complete the impossible task of gathering 54,000 crowns before midnight. Myself, Fraser and Otto set about in Tokuno trying to gather some coin, my map was wrong and things were pretty dull.. we made about 5,000. I then had a brainwave and decided I'd try and flog the pearl to the taints, as they're uncannily rich. We headed to Britain and my selling skills prevailed as I sold the pearl to the second person I asked for 50,000. So thanks to my awesome profit making skills we can now afford to invest in the cannon thing we want.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

01/07/08

Sunday was a strange day.
Kevin has us picking grapes and stamping on them in Tokuno for some reason, where Dart showed us his oh-so perfect diplomatic skills with the locals. I don't think anyone will be drinking the wine as it had bits of leaves and Llama blood in it. Although you never know, it might be nice.
Afterwards was the Last Man Standing.. seconds before it began Tony decided to stamp on my foot and cause me alot of pain.. shortly after Dart had us running around warming up, which I came last. Coming last meant I could choose the next warm up, I tried to get the people to gather me some bandages and such, however Dart over ruled it and made me get it myself, bastard.

http://xs229.xs.to/xs229/08272/diary33473.jpg

They ran around shooting eachother while I bandaged my foot up.
After that we played for varied versions of bulldog and bagball mixes, which then lead onto the Last Man Standing. In both the practise and the real thing myself and Cordy made it into the last two. The first time we called it a draw, with the second time myself and her fought it out leading to my victory. I felt abit crappy, but she seemed okay with it. So it's all good.
Apparently there's some sort of illness floating around Yew, so this might prove interesting.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

25/07/08

Aha!
Finally found this bastard diary.
Not letting Cordy 'tidy' my things away again, oh no!
It's been an alright couple of weeks though. Had a few idiots turn up on my foor the other day, finally got rid of them I think. I found myself at the archery competition at the olympics and lost in the first round to a bloke with a luminous quiver, so I didn't really feel like I lost. Apart from that I found myself having my crotch mauled by a randy covian dwarf who couldn't seem to keep his mace, or his sexual lusts to himself.

http://xs129.xs.to/xs129/08305/diary35397.jpg

However, I do believe we are now thrashing everyone in the olympics, we've got a gold and two silvers so far, so it's all good.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

25/07/08

I'll write yesterdays happenings down aswell I suppose.
Dart seemed to be in a bad mood last night, but with our sudden influx of trainees he wanted to do some sort of patrol.
I had to escort some citizen to the moongate, and then I rejoined the patrol who also seemed to be at the moongate, Tanya got chased by Kevin's hounds which is always a giggle.
We went into 'the pass', which Dart has stupendous bad luck with. It was all going so well until I was told to run back and fetch a trainee from the moongate, I was completely ambushed by liches and blood puddles, which triggered a 'rescue' operation.

http://xs129.xs.to/xs129/08305/diary36645.jpg

The rescuers hadn't quite planned for the swarm of liches and golden blood puddles to wipe them all over. It took a long time for everyone to get themselves togeather which didn't help Dart's mood. Then a complicated line up caused more fuss, so wasn't a good end to a day.
Some recruitment things happened in a strange place called 'Atlantic' where I appeared to grow a beard very quickly. We threw banners about the entire place and then headed back to Stonekeep. Footrace tonight, bleh.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

27/07/08

Yesterday was a busy day.
It started early in the morning when I took the trainee 'Hope' out for an early morning session of killing skeletons and crosshealing. Then Walker turned up and we showed her the easten road and had her kill a few ettins and such.
Recruited a new trainee today aswell, so recruitment is picking up, once the trainee was kitted out Clarence lead a patrol to kill a greater dragon, which the trainees didn't seem to like.. but eventually it was down.

http://xs129.xs.to/xs129/08300/diary371324.jpg

In the afternoon Dart did some training and fort building training, which was fun as we build an archery compound and obliterated the opposing team, we then introduced the trainees into the world and wonder of bagball. they seemed to grasp the basic concept by the end of the session. I then had to watch Tara Noble slay a dragon for her marksman tasks, which she just about managed.

http://xs129.xs.to/xs129/08300/diary372302.jpg

The olympics were next, horse racing.
I prepped Tony very well and set out my course through the solen caves to Yew. Took Tony down to Vesper and lined up at the start line, 'GO' was called and we were off, I headed straight to the caves and out the other side, hit Yew moongate first, and first by a fair distance.. making me and Tony olympic champions.
Dart did some more training after the olympics, some circuit of death thing and then order training.. he asked me to call any order.. so I called 'Spear Dart'.. to my suprise people actually obeyed that order and Dart was soon on his arse. Needless to say I was beaten black and blue for the next fifteen minutes.. by everyone.. I don't really remember much else from last night.. suprisingly.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

28/07/08

Yesterday started off with myself, Kevin and Dart heading to the 'citadel' in the yella lands to train as a 'threesome'. The citadel was abit of a dissapointment as it was relatively easy.. just difficult to find your way around. Sodding hidden doors.
Dart decided that due to the olympics we'd hold the last man standing in the early afternoon, he made me and tripps fight with halberds for the first round which wasn't all that pleasent.. but we got over it. Managed to secure an ironarm 1, 2 and 3 in the last man, with me winning it with aiden in second and Tripps third, so quite a good one.. even if there was only two non iron arms present.

http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/6995/diary38ro5.jpg

After the last man me and Tripps took some men to 'Drachenfells' I have no idea what is with that place.. but as soon as we got there Tripps went missing as did the entire population of the land.. Britain bank didn't have a single taintling to insult us, or a moongate to trip into.. never the less.. we bannered in a couple of places and spoke to a few people, before we all headed off to different lands to recruit some more.
The evening arrived and I set off to Vesper as it was requested that I was one of the defenders in the gauntlet event, so myself along with Walker and Heath defended the gauntlet, only three people managed the entire thing.. some new rookie, Fraser and some Skaran prat, sadly the Skaran won it, but we're still 16 points clear of them.
To bring the day to a close the new trainee 'Hope' lead a patrol down into the lich forests, it was alright for her first try.. although I havn't seen someone look so terrified for ages.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

29/07/08

To prepare the folks for the jousting tournament yesterday at te Olympics, I decided to do some jousting training before it began. I paired them off to what I could get to nearest ability wise.. and let them joust.
Dart and Floria - Should've seen the look on his face when she floored him first time, but needless today he won 2-1.
Verity and Cordelia - Verity won I think, 2-1.
Annwyn and Kyra - Annwyn won 2-0
Hope and Smitt - Neither could knock each other off, even if they did hit each other, a draw.
I let them decide if they wanted to ride again, Hope wanted to ride against Cordy this time.. obviously Cordelia won 2-0.

http://xs129.xs.to/xs129/08312/diary39789.jpg

After the jousting, I decided to train their sense of humour for the joke contest afterwards, Hope seemed very enthusiastic with her jokes, aswell as Annwyn and Drept, Dart managed to complete one joke, claiming he wasn't the 'jokey type'. The joke of the night must've been 'What did the ghost say to the bee?' 'BOO-BEE'... I'm chuckling just wrtiting it.

So, we headed to Vesper for the olympic jousting.. it started pretty badly for us.. losing to some covians early up, but myself, Dart and Drept got through to the next round.. sadly myself and Dart lost in the second round to Esmeralda and Hoagie.. but Drept continued to the next round flooring some bald vesperian. He then beat Hoagie to move into the finals, and won the final against the Skaran. It was a Loyalist sweep of the medals, leaving Cove in 4th place, just out of medal reach.

http://xs129.xs.to/xs129/08312/diarty391714.jpg

The jokes competition was funny..Annwyn destroyed a dwarf, Smitt destroyed Hoagie with the 'Boo Bee' joke, and Kiran obliterated Escaflowne, at the end of the night I think Annwyn won.. my memory is alittle hazey, but I thinks he did. The team battle tonight, I can't let us lose this.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

30/07/08

Worst day every yesterday, to the point where I can't even be arsed to write much about it.
Started alright, taking a few people to ice dungeon, killing them ice wyrms, ice deamons, and all the other walking ice cubes.
I then did some training, with glorified bulldog and some crosshealing game, was alright.. I suppose.

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/2512/diary40fc1.jpg

Moving on to the biggest scam of all time, the team olympic fighting.. firstly, never again am I letting a non-sheild user be in the team, Kevin barely stayed on his feet long enough to deliver a first hit. Secondly, it's become quite apparent that the King pumps alot for of his oh-so-limited supply of crowns into the Britain guards, than he does ours. Fair enough, they should get more, but that more? Bollocks, we do far more work.
Started off alright, we defeated the Skarans, obviously losing Kevin early on, Britain defeated Vesper, and we faced them in the final. Yeah, Kevin lasted until the word 'Go' echoed around the stadium thing, and then it went downhill from there.
Only good thing that happened in Vesper was that the dwarf challenged me to a fight and I floored him before he got a hit in.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

31/07/08

Yesterday started with a promotion, no, I'm not Captain yet, that'll come with time, I had the great 'honour' of promotion one of our new trainees, Sean soemthing, markie recruit.
Next it was straight down to Vesper for the boat race, where the funding from the King was apparent again, Britain had the fastest vessel obviously, and Tripps went to wide on a corner which allowed Skara to take second, third wasn't bad though.

http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/9905/diary41vl2.jpg

A merry band of about ten assassins tried to take down Dart, and failed, we knocked one of them.. the dwarf, and he claimed it was because we killed his Llama.
Vesper were very protective of the dwarf and wouldn't let us bring him back with us, I warned Escaflowne that if justice wasnt done we'd carry out our own justice.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

02/08/08

Last night was the final night of the Olympics, where awards were given out to losers and cheaters alike, and finally the only deserved award, the olympic sword to Dart.. which I should've collected.

http://xs130.xs.to/xs130/08316/diary42551.jpg

Then we moved into the Swaggers and pissed off the staff when we started discussing our plans for the swaggers when we take them over, it seems a brutal war is looming as the cease-fired only made people war-horny. Ah well, another brutal war means another flawless victory.

Wilkes

[The Task Team]

230 Copper awarded.

[James Palmer]

04/08/08

Sunday, sunday.. sunday.
Lucius took us all out to batter harpies for abit, which was suprisingly fun.
I then ran some training with the men, did abit of bulldog, and a few team fighting games, which mainly turned into beating up Kros. Gotrek didn't seem too pleased with us using the dorms..
Last man standing afterwards, me and Vance had a stalemate in the practice round, and then the besiegers turned up and teamed and one of them won.. can't remember who.

http://xs130.xs.to/xs130/08323/diary43742.jpg

Ahh, also a battle on sunday.. which was a laugh, the rebels are really failing to pull out the stops, and if they have they're screwed. Another victory for the loyalists with hardly any loses, and a private beating of Hoagie afterwards.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

06/08/08

Yesterday was alright.
Tanya announced the awards for the militia titles..
I think I won fastest to the moongate, the horse with the most crap and the best looking female. I don't know whether to be flattered or worried, but at least I didn't win most likely to be demoted and laziest officer.

http://xs130.xs.to/xs130/08323/diary44321.jpg

Dart then took us down to the changeling cave in Yew, and we got pretty far slaughtering gargoyles and the like, returned home and went to spend the rest of the night with the family.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

07/08/08

Well, I realise now it's hard to concentrate after so many bagball games, and towards the end of a tournament is the worst time for my concentration to sod off. Me and Dart obliterated everyone until the last two games which we narrowly lost by one goal, this lead to Yew B team getting first place (Luckily) and Vesper and us getting equal second or something along those lines.

http://img392.imageshack.us/img392/5479/diary45en1.jpg

I've no idea how an old man Nottinbury and pieman Walker managed to win, but at least it was a Yewish victory. Escaflowne 'beared' it all during a goal celebration, which turned out to lead to my best joke of the night apparently. Ahh well, back to work.

Wilkes

[The Task Team]

100 Copper awarded to Radek Wilkes.

[James Palmer]

08/08/08

Yesterday started with being called to Britain to lead a new recruit back to Stonekeep, thankfully Drept had tested him unlike most rookies, who claim they're not in command so they simply cannot test them.
I kitted him out and sent him off to gather his supply gear.

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/1104/diary46lc7.jpg

Later on Dart gathered the few of us who were hanging about and had us fight each other, myself and Kros drew, as we couldn't be arsed to fight it out. Then it was off to the strange 'Atlantic' place, I really do hate going there, but I'm starting to grow acustom to the beard that I inherit upon my arrival in 'Atlantic'. We were bullied all evening by some morons, who questioned my 'leanr'ing of 'English(?). We seemed to interest a few people, and piss off more.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

09/08/08

Well!
Another Wilkes is on its way!
Cordy told me she was pregnant this afternoon, after a day of getting beaten up by a swarm of golden gargoyles, harpies, dragons and them greater dragons. Longshot was leading the trip which saw me lose a Last Man Halberd, my cap, all my gear, potions, weapons.. everything. I returned in a sash, shirt and a healers robe. At least he payed for a new suit of armour to be made for me by his grumpy uncle.

http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/382/diary47jc2.jpg

Some smithy had us all running over Yew lugging huge piles of metal and cloth with us to some house near Stonekeep.
After that I was really too tired to continue being on duty and went home to spend the rest of the evening with my wife.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

11/08/08

Lyson is abit insane.
He was about yesterday trying to kill the trainee, and almost crying when some woman mistook him for a child in toy armour. I tried my best to gather some iron arms for the last man standing, however the besieger breeding programme seemed to better my pigeons messaging programme. Some tosser told the besiegers I was out to throw them all from the roof, which is wasn't, i just wanted a decent iron turn out, and they issued what I only know as a beating to myself and Aiden, which was very undeserved.
However we had the last laugh with an 'all on the besiegers' round which we obliterated them in slick fashion.

http://img150.imageshack.us/img150/8023/diary48bf5.jpg

To the front line then to defend our borders, and oh joy, I had to lead the trainee group. We were all archers, so it could've been worse, we formed on our banner and shot down anyone who tried to turn it into a used rag.
Naturally we trounced them and then secured our border, capturing Kiran and making some odd deal with him.
Delt with a few recruits then went to bed.
My leave starts tomorrow, a couple of weeks away to relax and take it easy, should be enjoyable.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

12/08/08

Well well, it seems I'm missing out on a brand new craze in britain, apparently Swayne is leading some mass fashion revolution where everyone walks around in some form of 'spanking armour' .. spanking each other.
This however, is according to Longshot.. so perhaps it's best not to openly believe one of his fantasies, but go and inspect it for myself.
I'll have alot of time to do that when I go on leave later today, so I should be able to give you a more accurate answer when I return to my humble office to write in you once more.

http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/7162/diary49ct0.jpg

Something else shocking happened last night, Aiden, yes Aiden, asked out the young blonde barmaid, and she responded with 'Sure!'. Surely something, somewhere must have been misheard, as everyone in the tvaern just stared blankly at Aiden who was grinning gleefully, suprisingly enough he didn't keel over and die from lack of blood flowing to his heart, rather than his.. well, you get what I mean.

Wilkes

[The Task Team]

85 Copper awarded

[James Palmer]

02/09/08

Well, back on duty after long enough doing DIY, to bore myself stupid.
I finally finished redecorating our home though, looks alright.
My first real night back was the beginning of a moot in Britain, which all seems to be trying to get peace, I highly doubt it'll work as Cove and Vesper are quite literally too close, as shown by their captain and sergeant erotically dancing togeather (both males). Also the fact that we battered Escaflowne and stole his hat last night, peace is the last thing that will happen.

http://xs131.xs.to/xs131/08362/diary50303.jpg

Madsens back too, joy.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

03/09/08

A meeting of 'world' leaders took place last night, it turned into a big slanging match between Yew and the rest of the table, with only Baron Heath of Vesper actually making some headway into our demands.

http://xs231.xs.to/xs231/08363/diary51168.jpg

We've got free access to Minoc, and permission to build a road, our hands on Kiran and the two accused Covians who're accused of child murdering. All this without losing our new encroaching borders in Cove.
Ahh, democracy.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

04/09/08

Utterly disgusting.
Some sick twisted man called Padan sent a child corpse to the Darts yesterday afternoon, unfortunately they wern't about so I collected it on their behalf, I was requested to check it's contents by the courier, and I found the corpse. It had 'Francis Dart' carved into it's chest, and a letter saying 'your chldren are next' in it.

http://xs131.xs.to/xs131/08364/diary52258.png

Thankfully it wasn't Dart's son, and we arrested the Padan bloke later on, and beat him around, he seems a complete lunatic, with two personalities.
We also captured Kiran after the market, where Smit was telling jokes and Madsen was leering after women, including Cordelia, however, me and Cordy made a healthy sum of money off our gambling table, so it wasn't all bad.
She did buy a new puppy and a parrot, though.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

05/09/08

Thursday, impersonating churchman.. some idiot dressed as a templar turned up at the garrison with the wrong coloured shoes and a lack of a grasp of britannian. A real Templar showed up, and I had the fake one restrained, I'm not sure i'll ask Longshot to question prisoners again, as he managed to gather no information what-so-ever, useless gimp.
Tripps brought Padan Fain back in, I watched as he writhed in pain on the floor as Tommy crushed his toes, and Holly injected poison into him, and his confessions came flying out.
He was lead off to Yew to be executed, however I stayed in Britain to keep an eye on the Garrison.

http://xs131.xs.to/xs131/08366/diary53983.jpg

Later that evening Smit punched some Vesper whore, and Escaflowne smacked Smit, then Madsen and Gotrek smacked Escaflowne, so I had to calm that down.. Escaflowne escaped with his conciousness.. just.
We found a bloodied guardsman badge with the name 'Karn-' on it, not to worry though.

Wilkes

[The Task Team]

110 Copper awarded

[James Palmer]

08/09/08

Well, Tripps has been forced to marry that Amarentawhore, poor sod.
The Father made me laugh, opening the ceremony with a speech about how she should be burnt.
Other than that we laucnhed 'The Order' today at a ceremony, the Order is basically a group of elite Veteran guardsmen, currently ran by Kain, Phil and Gotrek. They led us to kill some balrons to warm us up for the last man standing. A bloody gold one turned up, so it took some time to deal with them.

http://img67.imageshack.us/img67/117/diary54ue5.jpg

The last man standing itself was pretty dull, myself and Tripps ran it, with Escaflowne turning up half way through to be questioned, so I told him to come back tomorrow. The besiegers won really, but we wanted a different winner, so we made up that it wasn't the finale, we shouldn't have really because Kevin won.

I found alittle gem of a poster fluttering in the breeze the other day.
*Folds the poster, placing it in the page of the diary* (http://www.f4g.net/elven-quarter/8424-britain-moot-pool-party-poster.html#post68489)

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

09/09/08

Some sodding spider attacked Tony and myself yesterday, I was not happy, I had to call in an emergency animal vet thing, which cost a bomb.
Later on in the evening tavern night was held outside, with pretty much the same discussions going on, babies, Madsen, ect.

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/1240/diary55pi7.jpg

Escaflowne came back, myself and Dart questioned him and got alot of information about Kiran seemingly trying to get permission to carry out 'The mill murders' days before it happened.
He also rambled on about other things, saying he was the only straight person in Vesper, weirdo.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

10/09/08

Yesterday... not alot happened really.
We sat around in the tavern for a while, Fraser making some crude remarks about something or other, and Dart going on about pie.. or 'pah'.

http://xs331.xs.to/xs331/08373/diary56626.jpg

Then Smit took us off to Hylthloth to 'tame' (read: kill) hellhounds, and that.. really does sum up all of yesterday, so I headed home early.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

15/09/08

Elliot Heath was assassinated the other day, for trying to help us capture Kiran. I guess it did go to plan for us, but.. not quite as he planned, I guess.
After all, Elliot -did- capture Kiran for us, in a way.
We were able to get Kiran at the funeral, his lackeys were scared away by Gotrek and his axe, while we made sure Kiran wasn't running off by putting a bolt through his thigh.

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/9857/diary57hy1.jpg

We put Kiran through his paces in the last man standing, which he failed is miserably, then I had him taken to the cells.
Quite lucky actually as Escaflowne turned up demanding Kiran back, naturally it broke out into violence, them breaking the peace treaty.
However, due to us being warned by Amarante (Hey, she is useful after all) I had prepared the men for a fight, and a fight we delivered.
We sent Escaflowne back to Vesper with his tail between his legs, 'bear'ly alive.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

16/09/08

That yeller besieger did some training on formations last night, was nothing new to me, but it's important that the juniors get some training in them.
After that was a slightly empty tavern night, as the besiegers were questioning Kiran, and myself and Tripps were wondering between drinks and Kiran.

http://img122.imageshack.us/img122/3932/diary58cg6.jpg

Smit took offence to me calling him a goat shagger, and proceeded to try and beat me up, tart.
Then myself and Tripps put the few guardsmen that were about through their paces in some fitness training.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

17/09/08

Yesterday I promoted Seth to footman, he's been alright for an old guy really.
Then we moved onto some 'Yewish and proud' thing that Tripps ran, where we focused on true Yewish things.
First we had to find a mascot for Yew. Youngs team got a hart, bad effort really.

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/9044/diary59cs1.jpg

We lead an orc from the valley, and killed it with broken Yewish ale bottles. True Yewish mascot, there.
Then we did some fighting games, and Smit took us to New Haven to play bulldog afterwards.
Average day really.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

22/09/08

Dart had us all trying to compliment each other yesterday, some team building stuff.
I find it really quite hard to write something nice about the likes of Longshot, so I didn't.
It was interesting to say the least, especially watch Seth fart his way out of anxiety.

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/9580/diary60im5.jpg

We finished off with a last man standing, which Gotrek won I think.
Just before I was heading off to bed, Escaflowne came baring a note for Dart, which I must go and give to him while I remember!

Wilkes

[The Task Team]

230 Copper awarded

[James Palmer]

25/09/08

Well, I always knew I was good with anything I could swing really, I won Frasers test to see which of us could use a more unknown weapon to us, the best.

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/5952/diary611yo6.jpg

The macers got given war forks, fences, maces, and swords maces too.
I beat two footies and Annwyn in the final, was alright.
I was lucky that Walker seemed to fall asleep whilst waiting for Seth to come round after I knocked him out.
Ahh well!

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

08/10/08

Last night I finally took it upon myself to lead the men into Vesper to dish out well deserved revenge for their breaking of the treaty.
We checked Minoc first to see if they had broken that section of the treaty, which they didn't seem to have done.

http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/8886/diary1ec9.jpg

We marched of Vesper, exchanged a few words, handed them an arse kicking and left them to lick their wounds.
Apparently Seth took an energy bolt to the bollocks, poor sod.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

15//10/08

I got dragged into some crazy idea to kill a golden dragon last night, -eventually- we killed it, after Tony took one for the team.
Then we worked on some normal greaters, got knocked around abit, an average Tripps patrol.

http://img61.imageshack.us/img61/3104/diarygb4.jpg

The Auction, ah yes.
The Auction was good, I seemed to take the role of 'price booster' and knocked up the prices through-out the evening, until the Auctioneers (The Darts) started ignoring my bids.
Sadly I bought a hat for 50,000.. but managed to raise the price of a make-over from 10,000 to 110,000.
Vesper brought the Relic that was stolen: Bust of Lumberton to the Auction, trying to sell it, so we took it, and kicked the crap out of them, twice, in the face. Tossers.

Wilkes

[Floria Tenne]

100 Copper awarded.

[James Palmer]

Radek muttered angrily as he re-arranged his children's bed rooms, discovering his diary tucked away under one of beds along with some of his other belongings.

16/11/08

Bloody kids, stealing my diary.
Well, might aswell pick up where I left off, ignoring anything i've missed between the day I lost this thing and today.
Last night Fraser took us off to the Fire cave thing.. via the Ice cave.
We pretty much went through the entire dungeon killing random fire things and liches, including the really old liches.

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/1416/diaryby1.jpg

Trying to be more sociable amongst the ranks.. is hard, forcing conversation that isn't really there, having to deal with people being idiots in the correct manner as to not upset the rest of the militia, bleh.
Anyway, I better go and hide this in my own safe place and get back to sorting the kids out as Cordelia has taken herself off to Britain to spend my money.

Wilkes

[Louisa Dart]

30 Copper awarded.

[James Palmer]

17/11/08

Well, apparently I'm going to be killed soon.
According to some mercs that came to the keep demanding 50,000 crowns for not doing what we asked. Naturally, it ended in victorious violence acts towards them, and they left.

Later on yesterday came the last man standing stuff, I began with having the line check armour and such, then handed them over to Dart.
My friends the mercs came back to face the militia with triple the numbers that we had before, naturally it was over in three times the speed, and we could get on with the last man standing, which pleasently, I won. Hurrah.

http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/5738/diary2ii0.jpg

There was a covian trial taking place at Yew Court, odd I know. The evidence was stacked against the accused; Kas Valentine. However somehow the 'father' managed to find him innocent, so we arrested him and charged him with murder anyway. He's currently being pumped for infomation about various things.
I executed Happy-Jack today infront of Kas to scare him shitless, hope it worked. Madsen was his usual arsey self refusing orders, I'll have to deal with him tomorrow, it's almost like dealing with another Graham, I say almost because Graham is far more mature.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

18/11/08

Yet more sleepless nights head towards me at a rate of knots, Cordelia's pregnant again. I'd say I'm happy, I am, but it's only going to add to the stresses I've got already. I feel a right horrible bastard for writing that.
She told me yesterday after she tried to quit the militia after Dart made a joke, apparently she didn't mean it though, it was just a mood swing.
I finally got to punish Madsen for being a tosser, can't wait for him to slip up sometime soon so I can finish it off.

http://img78.imageshack.us/img78/4873/diarylw1.png

Some woman came to the keep wanting to talk to me, she wanted to visit Kas, unlucky for her a few moments earlier the besiegers took Kas off to die, heh.
Ahh well, back to the grind.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

19/11/08

Well, after having big numbers turn out for duty recently I thought I'd throw an event out there, got five people turn up. Joy.
I let the men choose the first half hour and the women the second, so we ended up in the painted caves by Trinsic for half an hour, and then running around Yew trying to find someone who would help set up a youth cadet thing for the militia, we seemed to come across the strangest people in Yew, so we gave up.

http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/2324/diaryzf1.jpg

I ran a small parade drill in the keep to keep them on their toes, was alright I suppose, they're getting better.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

20/11/08

Yesterday was one of those days where I someone end up dressed as a woman.
I recruited some bloke, a cheeky bugger, got himself into some trouble for replacing 'sir' with 'lad'.
Then.. came the crossdressing. Aries had chosen a disguise for each of us, mine was a woman, not one to faff around I got straight into character giving myself ample breasts with a couple of old shirts.

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/2092/diaryzk2.jpg

Later on after I'd got the kids settled I had a ride into town, it was under attack which didn't come as a shock. Ended up killing some massive crimson dragon thing, took forever. Got alittle singed from some fire wall thing, at least it died though. If only all my problems would do me a favour and die.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

21/11/08

A world leader now is apparently someone who leads a band of brigands and fights whatever for money, also a drow. Meanwhile I had to sit on the side lines and watch the so called leaders of sosoria have a debate about the invasions.
Dart pointed out that Yew wasn't suffering as we could handle our invasion, everyone else seemed to want to buddy-up and kill everything.
Apparently the invasions are due to some nests that are popping up all over the place, so after the meeting we headed out to the daemon temple as it's a likely source of a nest.

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/169/diarynn0.jpg

Was quite tough fighting at some points in there, but we pulled through, even with the useless trainees, who got a whipping and a bollocking when we got back.
Those bloody mecenaries turned up again wanting a fight, so we had to kick their arses and send them on their way.

Wilkes

[Louisa Dart]

140 Copper awarded.

[James Palmer]

24/11/08

Promoted Mike Renegade yesterday, seems a good enough lad. Heart's in the right place, works hard, no reason not to promote him.
Moving on in the evening came the last man standing, I ran some little games and a few parade orders before handing over to Dart. Walker and his little puppets tried their best to cheat in the last man standing, however karma seemed to be on my side as I manged to fend off all their attacks, and defeat two of them with only three remaining. Two weeks running, my best tally so far.

http://xs433.xs.to/xs433/08481/diary568.jpg


Sadly, afterwards Dart handed the line to Walker for a kit check, naturally I had it all, but then Walker handed it to Annwyn who took us to Khaldun after about thirty minutes of trying to decide where to go. Khaldun is full of the things that were invading Yew, yet people still cannot follow the orders required to kill a shadow fiend. Anyway, we all got back safely I think.
The rest of my night was most enjoyable.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

25/11/08

Visited the daemons yesterday for a while and knocked some about. Came back to the drama of the tavern night, with Annwyn, Walker and Dart arguing about things. Annwyn let slip that Tanya miscarried and ranted about how Dart was being horrible to her, she then ranted at Lou for trying to steal Dart or something. Our untrusted trainee ran into the tavern naked spouting off about mushrooms and such, weirdo.

http://xs433.xs.to/xs433/08482/diary608.jpg

Cordelia conned me into bathing the kids while she slept, which I did.
After that I went back to the keep and spent it trying to communicate with Stocks, took her to the graveyard. She's not as bad as he first appears, quite funny.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

26/11/08

Yew was attacked yesterday yet again.
So I had to cease all my plans for my event and save the town, naturally with the help of.. perhaps.. 'one' taint we killed off all the invading forces.
After saving the day, I went through some parade orders and some team fighting things before dismissing them.

http://xs433.xs.to/xs433/08483/diary185.jpg

Dart had us all check each other for lice, luckily I managed to sneak out of getting the lotion put into my hair, so I'll be keeping my locks for a little longer.
Not much happened really, spent an evening infront of the fire with Cordy.. and woke up in the same place this morning.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

30/11/08

Had some taint elf declaring war on the militia late last week, it'll be amusing to see how it turns out.. Just got back to the office after a weekend off, feel all refreshed again. Also last week those mercs returned, about six of them.. to find me and Dart in the keep, they wanted Dart to pay 20,000 crowns to save his own life, else they'd kill him.

http://img356.imageshack.us/img356/3016/diaryvh1.jpg

Naturally a fight broke out.. and we took all but two of them down before Tenne and Fraser arrived to help polish them off.
I do like them attacking, it gives me something to beat up.

Wilkes

[Louisa Dart]

140 Copper awarded.

[James Palmer]

1/12/08

The first of the last month today.
Mine and Cordelia's anniversary, joy.
Means I have to find a gift at the last minute as I had forgotten until she 'reminded' me last night. Last night was alright.. got my hatrick of last man standing wins, and watched a few people fluke victories in the champions tournament, like Longshot.

http://xs434.xs.to/xs434/08491/diary879.jpg

Thankfully Walker won and me previously beating him in the last man standing an hour before, made my loss to Longshot feel alittle better. I better go and buy her a gift anyway, else I'll be having an early night on my own instead of how our other anniversaries have ended.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

02/12/08

Was cheated out of yet another competition yesterday, some footrace, I was clearly the first back to the keep, however Smit seemed to forget to tell me the finish line was the crossroads. Naturally.. I took some prizes home after all.

http://xs434.xs.to/xs434/08492/diary413.jpg

Me and Cordy celebrated our 6th year Anniversary yesterday.. was the same as the others really, apart from this one costing me 60 copper. Tavern night was unusually dull and the command meeting went on into the early hours and we achieved very little!


Wilkes

[James Palmer]

03/12/08

Got my winter cloak last night, only a few seemed to be sporting them, but I think they look pretty good. Walker took us off bomb training, we went to that place with all the snakes in the lost land, Terathan Keep or whatever. It was going alright for the first few minutes, we killed one pack of snakes and then got attacked by two.. from then on in we were running back and forth picking up trainees, losing gear, kit. Eventually we got everyone back up and had further unsuccessful attempts at the snake groups again, but everytime we tried to engage one, another group came.. so we ended up back where we started. I lost my entire weapon bag, so I had to run around like a headless chicken when we got back trying to get it togeather in time before Joseph's patrol.

http://xs434.xs.to/xs434/08493/diary876.jpg

Joseph took us all off to Tokuno to gather some money for his rookie task, was alright really, nothing to difficult. He gathered over thirty thousand, so ten thousand more than he needed, not to bad.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

04/12/08

Sadly my duty ended before anything good happened last night.
Dart took a force to Vesper which apparently won, so they should.

http://xs434.xs.to/xs434/08494/diary963.png

Had the templar talk to me about the lower ranks faith in the church, and that something needs to be done. So we've agreed to gather them togeather on tuesday next week to teach them all to be good little avatarian guardsmen.

Wilkes

[Louisa Dart]

85 Copper awarded.

[James Palmer]

07/12/08

Dart did some boxing thing last night, paired me up with Fraser.
Was going all fine until everyone else started punching me, I managed to knock Fraser out before fleeing honourably to avoid being knocked out.

http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/438/diaryna6.jpg

Then Gotrek said he and Longshot could defeat the entire line up, and Dart asked if we wanted to wager any copper on it. I bet 500 copper that we'd beat them, was unarmoured at first and we won that quite quickly, then he let Gotrek armour up and it took alittle longer as they used their massive axes that most of the people couldn't take one swing from, we still won, so my copper account is nice and healthy.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

08/12/08

Went daemon bashing yesterday only to find a golden bugger there, so after a long battle with it, and exhausting most of my supplies the bastard was finally dead. Killed a few more afterwards, but no more gold ones thankfully.

http://img150.imageshack.us/img150/4517/diaryxr3.jpg

Walker ran some Battle Royale inplace of the last man standing, it was as the court of truth, we had to forage around for our armour and weapons and then be the last man standing. I managed to get myself a full set of platemail, a nice sheild and mace. I ran around knocking people about.. then Kros and Smit tried to team up on me, managed to floor Kros twice during his and Smit's attacks. Then I had Kevin, Kros, Annwyn and Smit chasing me about, they got me.. leaving me with 'two lives'. I got up and Smit pleaded for a truce, so I agreed that we'd get everybody left, and we did. Then I got him, and I won. Huzzah.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

09/12/08

God damn stupid horse.
Coming up to our five year anniversary, and Tony decided to tug free of his bindings to the tradepost and run head first into an ogre. Stupid sodding horse.
Had to get a new one, decided to call it Darren, hope this one doesn't run off.
Aswell as that Smit took us all off to Chaos for an hour before the tavern night, I quite enjoy fighting in Chaos.. it's somewhat.. chaotic. Bashed a fair few things about anyroad.

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/5598/diarymd9.jpg

I still can't believe Tony is gone.. all our memories.
First time I rode him was as a rookie at a jousting tournament ran by Aiden where I managed to beat Walker off the back of his horse whilst on Tony.
At the end of the joust Aiden gave Tony to me as he didn't have a use for him anymore. The last time I rode him was the daily ride back from the moongate where he liked to graze while I went off killing things.
I'll miss the little guy. R.I.P Tony.

Wilkes

[Louisa Dart]

105 Copper awarded.

[James Palmer]

14/12/08

Well, havn't been able to get to my desk in a few days.
Wednesday, I think started with battling invasions in moonglow, the crimson dragon thing there.. didn't fall while we were there, even though taints are annoying, the lack of them around the crimson dragon seems to make it immortal. Thursday a similar story really, just after getting back from bagball I get a frantic message telling me to rush to Britain to help the rest of the militia to kill off Dragons in Britain, not crimson ones, but.. ancient and greater ones. Was alittle more fun than Moonglow, as we were able to at least kill some stuff.

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/1961/diaryvp1.jpg

Friday.. I don't remember, woke up in a tavern somewhere.
Saturday I played bagball for a local team, narrowly won so it was alright, at least made up for feeling very groggy.
Finally have time to sit and write in this book again, I think sunday will become my day of rest, obviously until the evening anyway.

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

15/12/08

Ran a peasant tournament thing last night, basically giving them 'tools' rather than 'weapons' to fight with, and obviously no armour. Kevin started being a complete arse, so we had to get over his little insecurities before we could start. Eventually began it with Gotrek winning a pairs last man standing, whilst he was the only single participant. Which earnt him 2 points, Smit won the singles last man standing, earning him three points.
I'll leave my little note of who faced who in the main tournament in this page for use in the future, eventually Smit won, with a very convincing final round against Gotrek where Gotrek was down and out quite literally before 'Begin' had finished echoing around the small wooden arena.
http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/4193/torunyto3.jpg
Afterwards Joseph had us all off to kill skeletal dragons.

http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/293/diarymg5.jpg

It was alright, we killed about four untill a golden one spawned, I advised Joseph that it wouldn't be a good idea, Dart insisted we could kill it. Needless to say, it's still alive now after multiple attempts of trying to do things 'the Dart way'.

Wilkes

[Louisa Dart]

90 Copper awarded.

[James Palmer]

26/02/09

Just recovered this thing from under a pile of washing that's gathered on the floor on my side of the bed, it's grown in size as Cordelia's ability to do the washing while pregnant has declined.. and lets face it, I'm not going to do it.
She finally gave birth to Dylan M. Wilkes the other night after a long painful pregnancy .. for me anyway, I've not had to do things for myself like that in a long time.. I felt pretty helpless. Pathetic really.
Dylan's screaming has kept us up all week since his birth; and with my return to active duty after a period of rest to look after Cordelia, this isn't really welcome.
Vesper is doomed.. even more. Escaflowne (Bear), Devante Stirling (Loyalist traitor) and Leo Madsen (Pervert) are the three people running for the title of Chancellor of Vesper. If any of them wins.. Vesper will crumble. Vesper's just recovered from a civil war in which it's militia were beaten by barstaff from the Swaggers.. so who ever wins will need to sort that out.. and that's not even mentioning that it's still a shit hole.
I won't waste my time even bothering to begin writing about the new royal commander of the guard, the elf king.. and the talking mouse, because I might just kill myself if I have to re-live all that again.
It seems the spat between myself and Larynda is over, she seemed friendly enough towards me on the evening of the Trinsic ball the other night, I was civil in return and we conversed for a while. It seems Aiden isn't dead either, I caught the start of his desert survival course.. it is funny watching him work, I've never seen someone improvise so much.. and yet still manage to convince most of command and Fraser that he knew what he was on about.
Madsen's lastest project, Jasmine was in the keep earlier so I thought I'd give her some one-on-one combat training.. lets face it, she may need it. She did alright for a the most part, needs to work on running more.. and doing stuff while she's running, for a woman.. she can't really multi-task very well. Got her to fight Damon and contrary to what I thought would happen she didn't fall almost straight away, I had to cease the fight as it was boring me, they're both pretty good for footies.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9012/diary.jpg

More later...

Wilkes

[James Palmer]

01/03/09

Lets face it, the guards can't cook very well at all.. apart from a few females. After my cooking event .. they still couldn't cook.. and the team with the woman on won.. so really I don't think it achieved much. The town was invaded by them bloody tough cultists.. so we killed a few of them and their pet demons and then sodded off home. We've beat up Vesper and various other bands of people in disguise or not, I don't know.. if they wern't in disguise the Rebellion might be back.. but who knows. We'll deal with it.

http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/9012/diary.jpg

The kids are now depriving me of all sleep, I'm starting to sleep on the floor in the tradepost if I've got a late shift followed by an early one.. not worth going home to lie there awake.

Wilkes

[Louisa Dart]

120 Copper awarded.