Right and wrong

[Seanna]

[[Just a bit of ic thoughts ect... >.> ]]


A comfortingly sweet smell wafted through the air as she sat on an admittedly uncomfortable stool in the empty kitchen. Her chin rested in her hand, her elbow upon the table. Her free hand drummed against the polished wood. There was much to sort out now, wasn’t there? Oh how there was. The absent drumming continued as she tried to think harder. Thinking could be so difficult, especially about the things you don’t really want to think about! It was easier to just pretend nothing had happened, and she was just alone in the house as she typically was anyhow. No one to answer to, no one to explain things to, and no one to take care of. No one to eat anything she would make either, which was depressing in itself. There was that one fella that had continually come around for Calla, but even he had disappeared into the depths of the forrest seemingly. He at least had an appetite. Idle hands were the guardians play things were they not? And oh, how her hands have been idle!

Yes perhaps this was all her fault. I mean of course it was. It just was a simple misunderstanding is all. Just a small one. Or perhaps a big one. Misunderstandings had a way of being bigger than they were initially not meant to be. This might have been a rather large misunderstanding, or at the least, larger than she had not meant for it to not be. Either way, not showing up to your own wedding was apparently a very bad thing. More than bad, horrible! Terrible! Why did she not show up? She wrinkled her nose, deep in thought. It wasn’t cold feet, at least it wasn’t consciously and obviously not a deep rooted sense of fear that prevented her from remembering the day, and you know, showing up.

He was a good man, despite what it seemed like everyone adamantly claimed. Sure, he had his faults. He was a wee bit stubborn. Just a tiny bit really. He spoke worse than most, and couldn’t seem to write a letter with hardly a word spelled correctly. He might of occasionally smelled like fish, but that was to be expected, considering he practically lives on that boat of his. It was admittedly a rocky start between the two. More of a “marry me or else” sort of situation really. The “or else” had put a healthy sense of fear in her. Between Smit and he, I mean imagine the horrible things those two could come up with! The possibilities were endless, weren’t they? Sure, it was rather scary to be engaged to someone she hardly knew. Hardly liked at that. He slowly won her over however. Small gestures of kindness, comforting words, and the gap between who he was, and who people claimed he was widened. At least in her eyes. He cared for her, and appreciated the things she did. Appreciated, and expected. She was the perfect little house wife, or so she tried to be. She had even turned in her badge, in an effort to take her upcoming role as “wife” more seriously. Her heart truly did lie with flour and sugar, and sewing needles and thread, and having someone to take care of. Which currently, she did not have. Not exactly at least.

Kros was near constantly gone. Why of course love was there, wasn’t there? Yet with barely a glimpse of his face, or the sound of his voice, clear things began to muddle themselves right up. And perhaps the thought of marrying someone who just was never around, did not seem so appealing. Perhaps. There were many whispers in her ears about how terrible he really was. What a fool she was for being with such a man. Not that she actually felt that way. The worst thing about Kros Vandor, was that simply put, he was just never there. A lack of purpose was terribly depressing, and that is what she now had on her hands. No purpose.

So fine, she did not show up to her own wedding. Instead she had gone off to New Haven, for trading and supply buying. Not exactly a good excuse admittedly. Obviously. It wasn’t as if she was blatantly running away.

Was it?

Either way, what was done, was done. Or rather what was not done, never got done. Here she sat yet again in an empty house, only this time she wasn’t so eager for him to show up yet again. That “or else” kind of feeling crept up again in her mind. What was he going to do when they finally came face to face again?! There was that advert on the message board on the barracks. Was that his way of saying he was moving on? Surely it was. As special as pie was to him, to be openly searching for it elsewhere, what else could it mean? Especially as he knew how she felt about him eating someone else’s pie! So, she had taken it as just that. And as badly as she felt about the whole mess, it was out of her hands now. Or at least that is what she told herself. And often at that.

So she had carried on. Started baking pies early in the wee hours of the morning, just to have enough to bring to Stonekeep to give to the hard working men and women. It gave her a small sense of purpose, and it made her happy to feed people. People needed food and she liked to cook.

Then, there was the situation with Ian. He was a fine man, respectful and kind at that. He had very good hygiene, which was pleasant to be around truthfully. Not to mention he loved pie. He loved to eat, and he was always hungry, and appreciative of the things she did. That was a good feeling. Not to mention he was quite very nice to look at. He was also smart, and funny. Not to mention brave. Oh how he was brave! There was many a good thing about Ian Sutherns. There were many good things about everyone, or most though right?

Sitting on a cozy couch, warmed by the fire of the newly built fireplace, where she edged herself just close enough to practically be touching him, was the thought that seemed to linger in her mind the most often this lonely morning.

What was she going to do?

[Radek Wilkes]

35 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

“Oh my Avatar!”

Yes, that is the three words that keep finding their way into her head, and loudly at that! Every time she could manage to take her mind off of the current state of things, those three words would force their way back into her consciousness. Anyone in her position would be more than aware, that this situation was just completely screwed up. Maybe it wasn’t the situation as much as it was her. Oh she had a way of muddling things up, and how! Surely it did not help to not only see him sitting upon a stool in the middle of Stonekeep, but to be standing beside Ian at the time!

Not to mention only briefly before coming home to find not only a fish, but a spoon sitting on the lawn. Of course Ian did not fully understand the supposed gravity of the situation, but Seanna made no mistake. It was the dreaded fish and spoon. The spoon and the fish! That was a bad thing, or at least that is what she was lead to believe. Most of all, it was a sign. A signal. A screaming indication that not only had he been there, but he was unhappy with her. Understandably, of course. She and Ian both awkwardly stood by the gate as they gawked upon the two symbols laying in the grass. “Oh my Avatar.”

That alone rattled her to the core. Not because a simple fish and spoon could hurt her, (they couldn’t, right?) but rather the symbolism behind them. Was she fearful of confrontation? Of course she was. Yes perhaps he could seem rather gruff, and loud, and mean at times, but underneath he was a simple kitten really. Seanna knew that of course. So if it wasn’t fear for her mortal life, than the only thing left to fear, was the hurt she was going to cause by her actions and decisions. Causing someone pain, usually wasn’t all that much fun in all honesty. Not the kind that you didn’t mean to cause at least. I don’t mean the slitting of Vesperian throats here, I’m meaning matters of the heart. Like disappointing a parent, or having to tell the truth despite knowing it may cause more harm than good. That kind of hurting was typically not the kind anyone looked forward to. Not to mention most of the time, it was too late to stop it by the time it was realized that -that- was going to be the outcome. So it was safe to say, Seanna did not look forward to hurting Kros any more than she already had, or was potentially going to.

It truly didn’t help that the Waywatcher announced loudly that Gerek was attempting to “steal” Ian’s “lass”. Oh no, that wasn’t helpful in the least, considering Kros was sat within earshot. And if making it more than clear that Seanna’s heart now belonged to Ian (or, she belonged, or something of hers belonged to him) wasn’t bad enough, Ian’s reaction was the icing on the cake surely. Oh there was no chance of Kros Vandor not being fully aware now that Seanna had taken back her heart without notice, and given it to another. That, was not very nice. Although niceness was not a factor when it came to where ones heart did wander. Seanna’s heart had just perhaps, gotten lonely and wandered its way to Ian’s cabin. If she wanted to, she could justify her choices in her mind. It wasn’t all that hard really. It was lonely in that big stupid house. She had turned in her badge to make herself more accessible to him, and he was -never- there. There was never a way to know when and if he would come home. Certainly a wife could not be expected to survive that way? Yet all the justification in the world did not ease her heavy heart. There were still bits and pieces, and chunks of things that she had just done wrongly and it was devastatingly obvious.

So while her heart now rested comfortably wherever Ian might have been keeping it, her head was a total and absolute mess.

She had come home after a restless night of sleeping in Ian’s bed, to find a simple letter in her mailbox, and the fish and spoon both gone. Her heart sank as her eyes scanned over the words that were written.

“Oh my Avatar” seemed to run through her murky mind over and over, and over again.

[Radek Wilkes]

35 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

Things were what they were. Things also weren’t what they weren’t. What were they exactly? Fecked up is what! Well, not really. I mean to some extent of course, but not really really. The guilt would fade over time she was sure of it. It had to. She would make it so. She would systematically push out any thought of self blame that dared to creep into her mind. How would she manage that, well that was easy. She would drink herself stupid day in and day out! No, no.. That was a horrible idea. Perhaps she would give herself a strong pinch the moment a sliver of doubt made itself known. Or perhaps she would just send him a letter, slip it into his mailbox, and let it go. The last option seemed the least painful. Seemed was the operative word here.

His face was the best thing she had seen all day. It was warm, and kind, and inviting. It was never hard to speculate where one might find him. There were maybe three or four places to try. Stonekeep, his house, her house, or New Haven. New Haven was characteristically the best bet out of the four.

Coming home to find the letter from Kros in the mailbox was not the most pleasurable way to start the day admittedly. So when she happened upon Ian Sutherns standing strong in New Haven, recruiting his little heart out, she found that the weight of the day slipped quickly out of her heart, and was instead filled with appreciation for having his face to stare at in the early morning light as he slept. He was so dedicated. I mean people do tend to dedicate themselves to one thing or another on occasion, but Ian even gave the meaning of the word “dedication” a run for its copper.

His dedication to the Militia, and to his new recruits was admirable. Admirable, and jealousy inducing. He spent much time not only recruiting, but tending after his new recruits. Which I might add included being quite friendly to the female force that was so greatly needed in Yew, even if only to soothe the many lonely males that occupied the great town. She would always have to share him she realized. There would always be a piece of him or two that would never be hers, and one way or another she would have to learn to deal with that fact. It was going to be a hard lesson to learn, that she would not be traded in for a newer model, or replaced by some other pretty face on a whim. That his kind smiles did not always elude to some deep rooted feeling he might have had, but rather they just were what they were. Kindness for a new soul in a Militia uniform.

Ian did tend to lend a certain warmth to the coldness that sometimes seemed to overtake Stonekeep. She had felt it herself when she first arrived in Stonekeep. There was something incredible about him. Seanna had began to think on it some time back, surely on one of those lonely nights. She couldn’t place which one exactly mind you, as there were just so many. That being said, she finally had decided that it was his humble nature that was so engaging. Ian was the kind of man you would want to bring home to meet your mother. Providing you still had one.

Ian was comfort draped in flesh and blood and pigtails. Who wouldn’t love that? Or him for that matter. Finding things to love about Ian Sutherns was easy as pie as they say.

Either way, after receiving the letter yesterday, it was time to make some effort in facing her problem. So sitting down at the table in the bedroom that on occasion housed more than just one, she began to write in tiny delicate script.

[Radek Wilkes]

35 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

It had been an interesting couple of days to say the least. The guilt had begun to fade, but perhaps that was just because Kros was nowhere to be found. Nothing new really. Just as the love and feeling of security faded with his lack of presence, as did the guilt she felt for putting her heart in someone else’s hands.

Then there was the game that the Waywatcher pair had invented. It had involved brightly colored clothing, and brightly clad guardsmen. Ian had done wonderfully honestly. She had seen him blur past her many times, burning her retinas with each pass. It was until the last final moments that he was apparently ganged up upon. Bless his heart really. He put everything he had into everything he did. No one could question that. Or rather no one should. He was however, extremely .. frustrated to put it lightly. He stormed off to his cozy cabin, and she had quickly followed suit. She had meekly poked her head through the door, only to find him shuffling through his belongings. Angry sounds emerged from his sweet face. Angry and exasperated and just simply perturbed. Try as she might, no words soothed his fury. Instead he opted to stare crossly at the wall, and once again, she followed suit. He was handsome even in rage. He was such a catch really! Why, she had begun to wonder, was it her he graced his pleasantness upon? At the end of the day she really was just a simple, good natured standard type of girl. Not terribly intelligent, not terribly funny, or brave either. Not very stylish, not wise, not beautiful even. Just ordinary. He, he was sharp and considerate. Warm and witty and thoughtful. He was handsome as well. No, perhaps pigtails were not the most highly regarded as far as hairstyles go, but it mattered not to her. She could not help but think the world of him. She felt a deep sense of pride just to have him stand by her in the most run of the mill of circumstances.

But enough about how wonderful Ian was. Is. He had her heart, and that was just how it was. It was how it was always going to be as well. Or that was the plan.

Then she had agreed to help Leo Madsen concoct some sort of sugary sweet. He had behaved himself, oddly enough. Sitting in her kitchen, as she stirred the ingredients together. Some sort of minty sugary sweet. He had taken the sweet and apparently, had given it to a Guardsman. Or more accurately, a Guardswoman. Now before the altercation between the Captain and Madsen, Seanna would not of known that Annabel, a sweet looking young thing, was apparently Captain Dart’s daughter. At least that is what Seanna now assumed, given the way he spoke to her. Oh, not to mention the rage he displayed at the mere thought that Madsen had forced his precious young child to perform the most heinous of acts. Well, heinous in the eyes of a father surely. Somehow in between making the sweet, and young Annabel eating the sweet, and then relaying to dear Daddy what had happened, he got in his head that the young girl had been forced to .. Well let’s not say exactly. It would coincide with Mister Madsen’s apparent reputation however. It resulted in a severe beating at the hands of the Captain, for Leo that is. Staring at the both of them, it was complete insanity. She had no clue how the eating of a sweet had somehow turned into the forcing of oneself upon another, especially of one young daughter. The Captain had seemingly lost it in his fatherly rage. There was no reasoning with the man. If it had been Seanna instead of the Captain, well hypothetically speaking by the time she had cooled down she would of felt very embarrassed of her behavior. That poor girl, running off nearly in tears. Seanna thanked her lucky stars, the Avatar, and her best pet rock that Captain Dart was not her father, and that hers was long gone. Apologies all around were required it seemed. He seemed demented really. Shouting to stop calling it candy, as it was an appendage. What was an appendage anyway? It had taken Seanna a while to figure out exactly what this whole debacle was actually about, and even then, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Such was life! She preferred to surround her self with sunshine, and pies, and pretty cloth, and Ian.

And Oh, how lovely was that Ian of hers eh?

[Radek Wilkes]

35 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

The days passed by so quickly sometimes. That was just how it was. Some days crawled by, others raced past. Lately the days had been going by quicker than she would of liked. Small moments involving his face, and voice, and sweet words just never felt like enough. However they were precious, and sacred none the less.

Things had started to snowball. Or perhaps it was things had started to feel like they were snowballing dangerous fast to her. It had began with a nervous glance his way, avoiding eye contact. That had lasted a few days perhaps. Finally, they found themselves alone, standing in Stonekeep, and the nervous silence she had held imploded. They hurled insults, and truths. Apologies and just blatant cruelty at one another. They had an audience in the end, who even managed to more than occasionally weigh in. Weren’t these the same people who looked oddly at her for being with him in the first place? Ah, they were fickle folk it seemed. At the end of the day perhaps they just wanted nothing more than conflict. She had heard the names he called her, and part of her was hurt, and the other part understood and perhaps for a moment, believed them. A whore? In his eyes, yes. In Ian’s? No. Sometimes, the line between right and wrong blur. This was one of those times. On one hand she had Kros, who by most accounts was bottom of the barrel. On the other, Ian who was top notch really. If the lines were so clearly drawn in the sand, then why was it she still felt so much guilt?

Then of course, the opening of The Yew Tree Tavern. Dalla had been sweet and thoughtful enough to offer her a job for the night. Chef! Oh how it warmed her heart to do what she did best. Cook, and for other people at that. The Tavern filled with people and they had both quickly gone to work. Miss Mayor had handled most of the drinks, mainly due to Seanna just not having a darned clue about anything. Never working in a tavern before really put her at a disadvantage. All was fairly grand, even when the Waywatcher Karne, nearly choked on his food and died a slow and painful death. Ian was there, handsome as ever, and hungry. People were eating, and drinking, and most were being merry. Then, the first horrible thing of the night occurred. Kros Vandor toddled into the tavern. That lead to a very horrible thing, and oddly enough it wasn’t the last.

There was that woman who had come weeping into the tavern, only to cover poor Radek Wilkes with ash and soot. Supposedly the ash and soot that rested in the urn was of his son. That was fairly merciless. She had turned so quickly from the grieving mother, to someone who was cruel and indifferent and calculating. Oh, how Seanna felt for Radek. But I digress!

She would of felt much more for Radek, if it wasn’t for the fact that her thoughts hovered around Ian at the time. His face swollen and bloody. Defending her honor. Bless his heart. For some strange reason, Kros did not want Miss Mayor to serve him a drink. He demanded Seanna serve him, and quickly followed his request with a few choice names. He had effortlessly called her “wench” or “whore” three or four times before Ian, sitting just a few feet away, had seemingly had enough. He had stood up in frustration, and marched over to where Kros sat, and demanded Kros cease and desist. However Kros would not be Kros, if that happened just like that. The fight broke out, with Ian forcing the issue. They were pulled apart once at no avail. Ian had just had enough, and with Kros threatening to kill him and her as they slept, there was no calming the situation. I do suppose it did not help, that after they were pulled apart the first time, that Seanna had walked past Kros, kicking him in the shin as she did. He yelped out another “Ahl kill yer!” and the fight began again. Soon it turned into an all out brawl. Radek, Leo, Karne, and even Alexander Fraser each got in a few shots. Karne had leaped onto Ian from behind, and Leo repeatedly threw punches at Kros. In the fray, it was hard to tell who was smashing into who exactly.

Kros however, did a no no thing amidst the fighting. He reached into his boot and drew out a knife. Seanna saw the gleam of the metal weapon flash and she quickly made her way to Ian, bandages pulled quickly from her pack in hand. Radek had apparently seen it as well, and he quickly, but not swiftly enough, condemned Kros to the ground.

That ended the scuffle. Ian, battered and bloody heaved himself with the help of Leo from the ground, and hauled himself on to a nearby stool. Kros lugged his armored self to a stool at the bar. Both men seemed pleased with themselves to some degree. Seanna did her best to tend to her wounded hero. She dabbed at the blood on his face, and made sure that all of her touches were the gentle sort. Now, this is where the second unfortunate thing happened that night, on the opening of The Yew Tree Tavern, for in walked Radek Wilkes long lost, yet not lost enough, wife. That ended just as gory as the fight had it seemed, with Radek pulling out his colossal war hammer, and taking a shot at his wife as she walked out of the door.

Most agreed that on the whole, it was an exceptional way to open to the new tavern.

Ian and Seanna had decided to leave for some place more quiet. They made their way to his cabin, where she pulled out a fresh cut of meat for him to stick on his swollen eye. That is what she had heard worked well for situations involving bruised faces at least. It was agreed by both, that this meant they were now, as if they weren’t before, but now officially together. Oh how the guilt washed over her, looking at this battered and bruised man. This was her fault on so many levels. If only she had dealt with Kros better. If only she had stood up to him in the first place. If only she could just suck it up and take the horrible things he said to and about her. Yet she didn’t, or couldn’t. Kros was Kros after all. Could she really expect more out of him given the circumstance? And now, her delightful Ian was paying the price. His gentle face swollen and blood covered.

She felt safe with Ian. Safe and secure and cared for. He thought more of her, than she did of herself. They weren’t the same type of people. He was superior to she. The way he was, and the way he did things, made her want to be a better person at the end of the day. He was inspiring. Perhaps it was love she was beginning to feel. Perhaps it had always been love. Was she in love with Ian Sutherns? It was so soon admittedly, yet how else would one explain it? There was time to figure it all out she had told herself. There was time to sort through things, and feel them as they came. There was little need to rush into anything. He was there, as was she. It would either happen, or it would not.

He was sore, with good reason. She had offered her tub to him, so he could get a good soak. The warm water would ease his pain surely. They firstly made their way to New Haven, for.. Dun dun dun.. Recruiting. Ian’s favorite past time. He had swatted at her rear as they made their way to the moongate. How fresh fighting and ale apparently made him! However once arriving, they happened upon a stall set up, that had a scent much reminiscent to fish. Sure they were on an island, that had a very large dock, but still. Little did they know, that all that time, they were being followed.

The bath seemed more inviting for some reason, and Ian decided to throw in the towel so to speak in New Haven. They made their way back to her house, with their little stalker in tow.

Through the gate, and up the stairs they three went. Into the house and again, up a flight of stairs they continued until they were all somehow sat in a small room. Seanna and Ian just hadn’t noticed the third. How or why, who knows. Either way, Ian quickly stripped down, and Seanna waited and watched. No, not because she was some dirty bird, but well, it was true, she had seen it all before, or most of it. There was a time she spent caring for her ailing father, and lets just say even old men who need the help of their daughter to get on the toilet, need a bath once in a while as well. It wasn’t a pleasant thought for her either. Such was life.

Then something horrible happened. Oh yes, another something horrible. Was not the night full of enough horrible things? Apparently not. Why? Because Karne was sat in the room with the two, and once being discovered, promptly attempted to blackmail them. Seanna had quickly locked the bathroom door. There was no escape for the Waywatcher now. The window was clearly too small for any to fit out of, baring a small child. The drop alone however would kill. Instead, he found himself dunked into the tub, and his hair washed. He protested like no other. Served him right though. That was not the horrible part. Oh no, that could be considered the good part, in comparison. Once cornered, and wet, and clean, the Waywatcher pulled out the most heinous of acts he could think of. He dropped his pants, and sat upon the toilet. Oh yes I know, that doesn’t sound that horrific, but if you had realized just how much food he had eaten at the tavern only hours before, you would know it in fact was beyond horrendous. The room quickly filled with an unspeakable stench. Tears were shed as both Ian and Seanna saw their impending death within reach. The mans bowels knew no bounds. Surely there was something wrong with him, for this was not the bowel movement of any normal man. It wasn’t long before both victims were out cold. Laying on the wooden floor as Karne filled the bowl up with his liquid Guardian. It was as if the Guardian had crawled up his buttocks and died, or spawned something in there. It got worse I can say, but how, I will not. There are just some things better left to the imagination, or not thought of at all. This is one of those things.

Later that night, upon hearing a rustling downstairs, Seanna crept from the bed Ian and her now shared. That is where she found him, standing in the living room. She was both annoyed, and alarmed. Things however, took a different turn than what one would of assumed would happen. Could peace be made? Oh, how she longed for it. She wasn’t nearly as angry as he, but she was getting to that point. Beyond the anger however, and the hurt, and the disappointment, in the end, they both still cared for one another.

http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/2346/kros1.gif

http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/1995/kros2.gif

[Radek Wilkes]

55 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

It was almost funny to think about in hindsight. Granted at the time she could of thrown up in her hat she was so frightened.

“Female!”

Oh that was a terrifying word, at least for a female standing in Stonekeep. She swiftly and obediently followed Father Gideon Malarc into the church.

Ian had only just emerged from the same church only moments before. He had held her tight, and he seemed to be in high spirits. How that was possible, after being in confession, Seanna would never understand. Confession admittedly left her feeling emotionally drained. Too many intense and powerful emotions seemed to flood her tiny little brain during the brief moments confined in a stone room, with a door, and benches, and a very intimidating Father of the Avatarian church.

She followed him silently, her feet slightly dragging down the main aisle of the church. Wooden benches lined both sides of the church. It was soundless in there, just the thud of their feet touching stone resonated against the walls. The tiny confessional room was quite stuffy to say the least. There was no where to run. No where to hide either, but I suppose that was the point.

He directed her to sit, and sit she did. Her innards were a right disaster. Her heart felt like it was about to beat right out of her chest, and her fingers restlessly wiggled in her lap. The only thing she could manage to do, was nod when he spoke. Then he said something that completely took her by surprise. Did she know of Ian Sutherns? Of course she did. Would she be loyal to him? Absolutely. And then it got quite dubious as he just blatantly said that for there to be a marriage, yes, a marriage, he needed to be sure that she was not unclean in the thought and action department. Marriage?! They had not spoken of such, as well, it was so soon! Of course that did not mean she wouldn’t gladly be his wife, but this bordered on things spinning out of control. To be fair, she was technically engaged to Kros on the first day they met, not that it was exactly her choice. That was besides the point. She made confession, leaving out the bits that involved Kros and Father Malarc seemed pleased. He was not only quick to approve of the impending marriage, but eager to make preparations. She was told to return with Ian. When she wasn’t exactly sure, but either way he needed to be spoken to.

When she finally did happen upon him, standing so bravely in New Haven, she quickly stammered out her experience with Father Malarc. Ian easily turned fourteen shades of red over the course of that conversation, with a promise being made to “fix it“. It was both encouraging, and a bit disappointing oddly enough. The thought that he did want to marry her at some point, and the fact that he cared enough to tell Father Malarc, as well as that he wanted to fix the situation. The last part was both reassuring and disappointing. While part of her was quite taken aback, the other part was just taken with Ian. A big part of her wanted him to want to marry her, even if it was too soon. Secretly she almost hoped he wouldn’t be able to talk Father Malarc out of the approaching nuptials. Just a small minuscule part of her that is. Maybe a bit larger than minuscule come to think of it..

[Radek Wilkes]

35 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

He was a sight for sore eyes, as he always was. It didn’t matter if she had not seen him in days, or just mere hours before. He was always such a welcome sight. Things got a little more shiny, a little more warm whenever he was within arms reach. Though recruiting seemed to take up so much of his time. The recruits seemed to take so much of his time. Sure, it wasn’t there fault that they needed him so, yet still she couldn’t help but resent their dependency upon him. Just a little. A fraction of a tiny bit really. She searched all the usual places and somehow he just wasn’t in any of them. Not in New Haven, not in either of their houses, and that left just one place to look. Stonekeep. She had wandered about, eyes peeled, looking for a glimpse of his delightful face. She found him, eventually, standing the dorms. Making sure all were safe and sound, watching over his little flock of recent recruits. It was either terribly sweet, or incredibly creepy. Seanna thought it the former, of course.

Sometimes, jealousy would get the better of her, and her mind would find itself running through all the new recent female recruits faces. On occasion someone would take the time to tease her and point out just how often Ian was with them, instead of her. They meant well perhaps, maybe, and most of it was just banter over the bar. It did however seem to seep into her conscious mind however whether she welcomed it or not. Sure, she smiled as friendly as she could muster without outright snatching his hand and pulling him close to her as he introduced her to new recruit after new recruit. He was her Ian! Not that he was a piece of property, but imagine if he was! She would write her name on him if that was the case. In big bold letters. I BELONG TO SEANNA. That would potentially do, wouldn’t it? Not that it was always enough. If another woman actually wanted to steal someone’s fella, a ring, sacred vow or bold large lettering wasn’t enough to deter them from their goal surely. No, no it wasn’t. She would instead just have to learn to trust in his feelings. She mostly did anyhow truthfully. It was only when she didn’t get to see his face or hear his voice for extended periods of time, that her faith in his feelings for her began to wavier.

He was always on her mind it seemed. Ian and, that damned hole in the side of the house. Bloody stupid neighbors had apparently fiddled with their ill placed cannon one night late and blown a hole the size of a large pig into the side of her house. It would patch up easily enough, but the weather in Yew prevented it from being done just yet. It needed to be less wet. Instead she had tacked up oiled cloth to cover the gaping gap in the meantime. Ian and openings in the walls.

It had been an odd couple of days in total. First was the misfiring of cannons. Then that one recruit turned all scary like on the bottom floor of the dorms. Oh that was something dreadful indeed. It was what nightmares were made of. Really, that poor girl, but still! So coming back to the dorms, and finding him there again brought back a certain sense of dread in the pit of her stomach, but his face made all the ghastly feelings drift away like autumn leaves on the wind. Once again he assured her that he would speak to Father Malarc and fix everything. And once again, she hoped that he wouldn’t be able to. Yes it was a bit soon, but that didn’t matter all that much to her anymore. Everyone already knew about them. There wasn’t anything to hide, or be ashamed of, other than her every thought from the church regarding him. Not because she thought shocking and naughty things regarding Ian, but all of her thoughts felt unclean when it came to the thought of telling anyone of the church.

Putting her hand in his, staring at his kind face, every ill thought or moment of jealousy that might of plagued her mind melted away. It was safe to say she was near convinced this was actual love.

[Radek Wilkes]

35 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

Things had gotten unpleasant to say the least for a while there, that was no exaggeration. It had begun as mean spirited banter, and as per usual someone resorted to insinuating she was a whore. The whole whore allusion was getting old and tired. If it had been true, then maybe it wouldn’t feel so irksome to hear over and over and over again. Having two men in ones entire lifetime and not at the same exact moment should count for something. It was the same someone who not weeks before had stood in her kitchen, creepily and somewhat menacingly and attempted to force some sort of connection between them. Thank the Avatar for pretend pies that were pretending to cook in the lower kitchen. It seemed abnormal for someone to turn so quickly on a copper piece. They say there is a thin line between love and hate but this was dangerously pushing it. Most every bad thing she had ever heard about him, was in fact based in truth. That much was shockingly obvious. He seemed unstable, quick to change between one emotion to the next, swift to forget his morals or principles in favour of someone else's. The someone else was always female, unless of course it was the Captain. He was someone not worth the time nor effort. He wasn't someone who would merit trying to be nice to. It was all in vain, or it would be. He would smile and be friendly one day, and verbally assault you the next without batting an eyelash. Rinse and repeat. There was just no continuity in his character.

So as she daydreamed in the tavern, staring at the bookcase and thinking of Ian, with her back to the door he had sauntered in, not said a word, and loaded a cross-bolt and cruelly took aim. He was the worst kind of coward. The kind who would slither off after being scolded by his superior, only to return once everyone had left, disobey an order and assault a woman who had her back to him. Why and how a man like this could hold any sort of rank was beyond her. Hell, it was beyond many it seemed. All he was good for nowadays was another warm body in a line up.

The only good to come of it all, was that Ian had finally taken his rightful place as a titled leader. He was always a leader in the eyes of any who had the utmost pleasure in coming in contact with him. Seanna had seen that long long ago in him during her days as a Trainee, then Footman. He oozed kindness and strength in the same brief moment. It was no wonder that where ever he decided to go, scores of Juniors, as well as higher ranked from time to time, would gladly follow. It was in the way he treated people. The warmth he extended, and all the while he kept his dignity in tact.

That is what it came down to in the end. How people treat one another. It is a common thought that one should treat others the way in which they wished to be treated in turn. In that thought, Seanna made the
conscious decision to live by that philosophy. If someone wanted respect, they had to be willing to lend it out themselves. If they wanted kindness shifted their way, then they would exude kindness. If someone wanted to be treated fairly, they would have to treat others fair. Some people were incapable of such, and that would have to just be fine. Perhaps they just wanted to be treated like dirt themselves. They needed a cross to bare. A reason to be bitter, and angry and useless. Those such people, would just cease to exist for her. That was all that could be done. That was all that would be done.

That one person, could cause an awful lot of frustration, if you let him. He would no longer have that ability however. There were better people in the world to spend ones thoughts on. Ian for example. Still he had not spoken the Father Malarc about the marriage that just wasn’t ready, and that partly made Seanna happy. Only just a bit, because in reality the only reason he hadn’t was because Father Malarc had just not been around. Either way, the secret thought of being his wife could bring a smile to her face in the most dire of situations.

Even as the others had taunted her and he, making crude jokes of forest love with an elf, it could not phase the love she felt for him. He was a good man at the end of the day. No one could argue with that, effectively that is. Even a questionable man, such as Kros Vandor had his good points behind closed doors. Ian had many.

So the weeks went by without incident. Ian and Seanna had worked tirelessly on the road leading from the moongate. It had taken a while but there was now a direct line practically between the moongate and Stonekeep. If she had doubted for a moment that her work was for nothing, the day the Seraphim Brewery made their delivery would of swayed her in a more positive direction. They had found their way to Stonekeep with ease, thanks to the new road. Albert had said so himself! Then of course there was tonight. A taste of The Seraphim Brewery, hosted by The Yew Tree Tavern. It felt quiet honestly, like quite the success. She had expected a dozen at best, and instead there was easily double that at one point or another. Double! Not only Guardsmen as well, but patrons from Cove, and Templewood, and other places that weren’t so obvious. Both Dalla and a new barman, by the name of Winston worked that night as well, to her great relief. Winston would prove to be invaluable. His fancy words seemed to awe the patrons and his pack looked quite a bit heavier from the tips he had gathered. Oh how he had earned them! Seanna hoped that he would find life in Yew suited him well, unless he was from Yew. His ‘Mademoiselle” lead her to believe otherwise. The women seemed to just eat that up! As far as she could tell, despite being totally overwhelmed, was that The Seraphim Brewery knew their stuff as people seemingly couldn’t get enough. That would be good for business she reckoned. The game, while a bit rocky admittedly, seemed to go over well also. Some however just proved to be terribly poor sports. Arean earlier in the day had lent his hands to writing down the numbers and letters on individual tokens. Seventy five of them to be exact. No small feat, and greatly appreciated at the same time. The night had come together only because of those who had helped, such as Arean, Dalla and Winston. It was one thing to have an idea, and it was another to put it into practice. Planning and brainstorming and even setting up for the night had been the fun part. Actually being there, and trying to discern one voice from another, one request from another proved to be a chore and a half. That is where that angel without wings, Winston came into play. He made it so the night wasn’t as traumatic and nerve-racking as it could of been. Seanna was beyond amazed at how many had come! Flabbergasted, and appreciative, grateful and fortunate. It was a good experience. The people seemed content with the service, and the company. That was all that really had mattered in the end. What a wonderful night! Ian had even come to show his handsome face. Aye, yes a wonderful night indeed!

[[Thank you to everyone who came tonight, and who helped me. Even by listening to me run ideas by, or contributed by giving advice. Thank you Clarence for explaining how Bingo could work in UO, and Arean who labeled 75 books for me, and Dalla and Winston. Winston worked the floor tonight and if he hadn't of been there it wouldn't of even gone completely close to as good as it did. He was my total selfless saving grace. <3 I am so so so appreciative, so thank you!! <3 ]]

[Radek Wilkes]

50 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

It was a source of humour. A joke. Something to make light of to pass the time.

"Oh Seanna, do you miss Ian?"

Abyss yes she missed him! Oh Avatar how she had missed him! Life just wasn't the same without waking to his sweet face each morning, more often than not mouth agape, drool spread in a decent sized circle on the pillow. She loved that circle of drool. Not because she had some sick or weird fascination with drool, but rather what it represented. Which in the most basic sense, was someone she loved whole heartedly, who was in her everyday life. A kindly and gentle face to wake up to. It made each morning brighter, and made each night more comforting and easy to get through. Nothing was too difficult, or too traumatic if Ian was going to be there at the end of the day. Nothing. It was the kind of love that she drew strength from. The kind that fuelled her happiness. He was the sun, which she blissfully orbited around.

For the past three weeks life was anything but bright and comforting.

Sullen and moody she had paced the house more often than not. Yes, there were times he would just have to be gone. Sineal had said she should learn to be happy on her own. Something like that. But how? How is that possible? Ian was a light shining in the darkness and it was blinding. She could see nothing but him most of the time. Was she obsessed with Ian Sutherns? More likely than not, yes. It was love afterall. Complete, unconditional love that knew no bounds. He was her other half. He was the kind of person that she would of had to search the entire world for, had she not found him when she did. Why? Because she would of felt empty somehow, always. Life would always lack without this type of love. There are many times you know. Love of a sibling, or parent. Love for your pet. Love of your job. Love for a friend. Love for a partner, and finally, love for a soul mate. The latter was untouchable.

No matter what circumstance would befall Seanna or Ian, or both for that matter, she would always in her heart of hearts, love him relentlessly.

Now that he was back, the thought of marriage crept into her little mind. The thought of being Seanna Sutherns was enticing. Seanna Sutherns. Seanna Thorngren-Sutherns. It was a hard choice. Considering there were too many letters in the last option, and thus there was a good chance she would misspell it from time to time, his surname alone would suffice. All she wanted from life, from the moment she had realized he was -the one-, was to be his wife and live out the rest of her days by his side. It was time to make that dream, a reality.

She wanted something small and quaint. She would wear a pretty dress, and he would wear something other than his uniform surely. The ring around her finger was precious, but a wedding band would be superior.

She could not wait to properly welcome him home. Pies and cakes were in order. Cookies and ale. Oh how she had missed the company, the friendship, and the love. She felt hopeless without it. Lost. Alone. Prone to fits of crying... Well not quite fits of crying, but she did tear up on occasion at the sight of the drool-less pillow.

My Avatar, obsession was an exaggeration. Just barely though.

[Radek Wilkes]

25 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

*Seanna's poem for Yewrovision*



Ode to the Yewish Guards of Stonekeep.

This is my ode,
to the people of Yew.
It's not meant to goede,
But it all quite true.

Where shall I start?
Where should I begin?
Who do I pick first?
His name starts with Sin!

Sineal Walker, tall, broad and proud.
Sometimes, when he's angry he even gets loud!

Next comes his wife, Annwynn you see,
She is quite a kind lass, I think you'd agree!

Here is old Aiden, oh what is that smell?
He's old, he can't help it, if you could not tell!

Where is the Captain? Bladius Dart?
He's off in the meadow, eating a meat tart!

Oh, then there is Radek, what a big lad!
He knocked up Stocks, and now she's real mad.

Speaking of mad, there's Leo MADsen, oh yes,
What elf he is shagging is anyone's guess!

And now we have Longshot, Kevin, you know?
Some say he is magic and his underpants glow!

Of course we have Ian, oh isn't he fine?
Incase you were wondering, Ian is mine.
He is handsome, and smart, cunning and sweet,
He loves to recruit, and he loves to eat!
His two little pigtails, aren't they just cute?
Yet he deserves respect, so Guardsmen salute!
I love his green eyes, and his kind little face,
If I could steal him, Id not leave a trace.
He is my whole heart, and he is my whole soul,
And to walk down that aisle is my life's goal.
So for the love, of all that is right,
find a Guardsmen to love, and do it bloody right.

[Radek Wilkes]

35 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

It had been a rough day, to say the least.

She saw it. It sat lifelessly, listlessly on the floor in the corner. She stomped over, half in a fit of rage, half blinded by tears. Looking down upon it, her teeth gritted involuntarily. Clenching her fists tightly she took a small step backwards. Her left foot swung behind her, and swiftly forward.

Flour filled the air at the moment of impact.

It covered the nearby walls, and the floor. It settled on the counter top just above where it had previously sat, and covered her kicking foot up to mid calf. Distraught, and angry she slumped to the floor. Laying down, the cold stone felt good against her warm cheek. If she had enough tears in her she could of made a proper dough. From that, a proper pie crust. She could pick berries off of the briar thorny patches and maybe prick herself enough to bleed. Then, and only then perhaps, she could actually make a pie filled with blood, sweat and tears. The sweat part well, that would be easy too. Just run around in the yard before pounding out the dough. Maybe then someone would appreciate her.

If only.

The truth of the matter was, it felt like an endless battle with no safe outcome. It was beginning to be too much for her simple head to wrap itself around. She didn't have the cruelty in her to properly fight back. She didn't have the fervour and endless amount of abhorrence to pull from. It was either live of life of constant verbal abuse and attacks and slander, or find life elsewhere. Not to mention being physically attacked by a crazy woman! Imagine, the thought that Seanna would even remotely think about a man like Bladius Dart, a good leader yes, faithful no. Seanna liked her men honest, and good natured, and warm and kind and oh yes, faithful. Didn't Louisa know, Seanna was head over heel obsessed with Ian Sutherns? Apparently, Seanna didn't talk about him quite enough.

Why between the bitterness and the resentment and the frustration the Captain seemed to be bathed in, and the crazy that was his wife, and Annabel's mother, well it was no wonder Annabel was as she happened to be. Seanna would of pressed charges, had she not only moments before heard and saw what she had. Maybe she too would of acted a wee bit rashly. And rash was putting it mildly.

He had said he would follow her to Trinsic, if it made her happy.

It wouldn’t however make him happy. All of her notes of things said and when and by who, would be worthless. Yes, right, sue the Captain’s daughter. That would turn out well. If she could openly slander her in front of numerous guards with no interruption then clearly the law was not on Seanna’s side.

She sat up slowly and looked around at the mess she had made. It was time to clean up the disorder of flour upon walls, and find life elsewhere perhaps.

There was much to do. Things to pack. A letter to write.

There was no other choice, surely.

[Radek Wilkes]

35 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

It wasn't as easy as one might of thought. Pack a few items away, leave note to say you were running away, and walking out of the door. Simple in theory, not so much in practice. She had finished sweeping up the spilled flour, and then set out to collect a few things. Clothing, something to eat, and to find a way to say goodbye.

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/2663/leavingmn.jpg

He was not home to watch the entire spectacle. Had he been, surely he would of talked her out of it. His kind face alone would of beckoned her back to some sense of sanity. There would of been no way she would of left had she laid eyes on him. However, he was not there to comfort her. So off she went, to the one place she had run away to last time, Trinsic.

Years ago, after her father had passed away, the house proved to be suffocating her moment by moment. It was a stark reminder of the life she had lead up until that point. Now it was only all the more lonesome. It was then she had first set out on her own, leaving the only place she knew, and headed to the city made of sandstone.

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/4719/leaving2.jpg

She made her way through the moongate, and began to explore. As it was, the distance that separated her and Ian weighed heavily on her heart. Even if she had only been gone technically under an hour. Sullenly she made her way through the Elven Quarter, to the city.

http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/5985/leaving3.jpg

She didn't belong there then, and she didn't belong there now. That much was evident. It was more lonely than she had remembered. The city now seemed barren of people. It was a silence that could drive a crazy person sane. It was all vaguely familiar, the buildings, and bridges, and even the Inn. She had spent nights there before, she had worked in this city before. The sights were a small comfort at best.

She headed towards the Inn, and slipped coins into the metal box. Seanna couldn't, for the life of her, remember if there was an Inn Keeper the last time she was here. There was a good chance she slipped coins into the box years ago, just as she was doing now, to pay for her room.

Defeated, she crawled into bed and tried to push the memory of the day clear out of her mind. She had felt alone many times in her life, but this was something different all together. It was more intense perhaps because as alone as she felt, it was never actually the actual case. There was always Ian.

In the morning she woke, washed her face, and dressed. It felt like deja vu, almost.

*Something written ages ago, the last time Seanna had been in Trinsic*

Smile Seanna. Go on, it wont hurt I promise you. Show them things are alright. Prove to them all you are happy. Go on. Just smile. They will believe the mask you don for the sake of superficial conversation. You are much happier are you not? Of course you are, look where you now lay. It is comfy, and soft. Rain hasn't touched your pretty head in weeks. The only water to wet your hair has been of your own doing, in the basin with soap that was either left out or left behind. Grin till your cheeks hurt darling, teach yourself to smile again. You have every reason, right? Practice. Look in the basin, and smile at the reflection staring back at you. That is you, and you are blissful. Doesn't it feel magnificent? Of course it does. Your feet grace warm stone each day, in a splendid town full of fantastic people. He notices your smile you know, he is rather fond of it. Isn't he? Yes yes, he is. You can tell by the way he looks at you can you not? His gentle touch upon your arm makes you smile without thought. Someday, everything will have that effect on you. Just not today, no, not today.

Her head touched the pillow as she slumped into the small bed. Today had been eventful. She had made a new friend, and spent time with an old one. Well, old compared to how long she had been in Trinsic. They met in the very beginning, mere weeks ago. Smiling absently she yanked the cushion from beneath her head and pulled it close to her chest. Nuzzling the smooth pillow against her cheek she smiled, and could not help but think only of him.

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/1066/leaving4.jpg

Waking up without him, her heart screeched loudly in pain. Everywhere she turned, it was a reminder of what she didn't have. Ian. She wandered the empty city until she happened upon the old bakery. It was a tiny comfort, it was. She rolled out pie crusts until her hands were sore. She had inhaled so much flour between the past two days that she was certain she would turn into dough at any given moment. Saying her goodbyes, she made her way back to the Inn.

It was another night of feeling empty.

It was too much. She was a creature of habit, and here she was, alone in Trinsic. A town that held nothing for her other than a few memories. Home. Home with Ian, in Yew. That is where she belonged.

http://img692.imageshack.us/img692/1142/leaving5.jpg

She ran as fast as she could. As fast as her little feet would carry her. She just had to see his face, and be in his arms and everything, everything, would be okay again.

http://img130.imageshack.us/img130/4613/leaving6.jpg

Seanna just simply could not live without Ian. A life without him, was meaningless and then some.

[Radek Wilkes]

70 Copper awarded.

[Seanna]

Time is a funny thing indeed. It was all we have in the end you know? We tend to find ourselves on two opposite sides of the spectrum, either having too much of it, or not enough. Seanna found herself on both sides, frequently, and interchangeably. Too much time had passed since she had seen his kind face, or heard him call her by name. His sweet smile lived only in memory nowadays, but at least she had that, she would remind herself. Memories were both comforting and cruel in the same breath, and never left her feeling consoled. Yet when you have so little, one takes what one can get, right? What is a bit of pain, a reminder of what you no longer have, if for one brief moment you can relive what made you the most happy? It was like eating a warm fresh pie from the oven after going hungry for a week, while being beaten by a group of thugs. The warm, syrupy pie sliding down your throat, as a boot connects with a kidney. It was like feeling the warmth of the sun upon your face after a long hard winter, while being attacked by a rabid and hungry wolf. Perhaps not quite the same, but close enough really.

Life without Ian was quite meaningless, and now, after all the time had passed, she could say that with authority. There was no other that encompassed all that he was, and all that he offered to her. Unconditional friendship, companionship, and love. Though clearly, there were conditions somewhere a long the line, she just hadn't been aware of them at the time. What she wouldn't give to see his sweet smile, him standing proudly in New Haven, as he used to do so often. Had she told him that she loved him, the last time she saw him? If not, she should of. She should of told him how important he was to her, how much she not only needed him, but wanted every aspect of him. He was a staple in her life, the support beam in her figurative house and without him, things just crumbled.

She played their last moments over and over in her mind. Memories. What could she have done differently, to change what was? What could she have said, what could she have felt in order to change the course of events, that made up her current predicament? She had always been on the threshold of mourning his loss, with each trip he would take, when the job called him away, and for endless months now, she had found herself in a constant state of mourning. At very first, she just waited. Waited for his return, as surely he would. If it had been her to leave, she would of found her way home to him, so why not expect the other to do as you would? Weeks passed, and still there had been not a any sort of contact attempted, or made. Simply waiting slowly turned to disbelief, and merged into mourning the loss of him, and what they shared. Waiting never fully vanished from her mind, and part of her still had hopes, but optimism tends to quickly fade with a lack of action.

The house fell into disrepair first. The deep depression that overtook her lulled her into a state of mere existence. She watched as things simply fell apart physically, as she fell apart mentally and emotionally. If she did not have him, then there was no reason to have that warm inviting home that no one would ever see. She would walk from room to room, talking to herself if only for the comfort of hearing the echo. Few if any came to visit, and the sadness and the pathetic state she was in turned to paranoia. After what seemed like forever, she simply decided she had nothing left to live for, and by staying in this house was just clearly ridiculous. Seanna had packed a few precious possessions, the ones that meant the most to her, or reminded her of him, and simply started to walk. There wasn't anywhere to go, no place to be, and no reason to hurry.

Time, being funny and all, too much time had passed without him in her life. Not only the person she trusted most, a constant and close friend, but someone she had loved unconditionally. While time heals as they say, it didn't erase the thought of him, and he crossed her mind daily.

Time. There wasn't enough time, spent with him.

No, Seanna was not content, and it was doubtful she would ever be.

[Nathaniel Hawk]

+25 Silver awarded