All in a days work. [Log book]

[Radek Wilkes]

What complete bastards, complete and utter!
What turned out to be a three-man adventure to the Lost Lands left me fighting insanity, insane heat, overly large snakes, and more dramatically, fighting for my life!
I'll show him late for a meeting!

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Luckily I'm still here to be able to fill these pages with rantings about various people, may I begin with Tamm Sharpe! Late for a meeting during a dangerous adventure?! Leaving me to fend for myself in lands unknown!
I could've been killed! Or worse, I could've had to ask for directions!
I was kind enough to let the trainee who was clearly suffering with the heat go home, but I had plans to explore and find new creatures! Oh no, 'late for a meeting' - It better have been bloody important!

Walking, sweating, crawling through sand, over boulder for hours, blistering skin, and sand everywhere. You know, I've really developed a passionate hate for sand over these last few days, it gets everywhere.
You cannot get rid of it, and it's always where you don't want it, like wind in Church.

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Finally I stumbled upon the edge of the desert... and the start of the jungle. Safe? I think not....
After getting some water and a sample of local fruit into myself, I trudged off into the jungle after human beings! I found thousands of snakes, not the humans I was looking for, and slightly more aggressive than I hope the humans would be. Luckily, whilst fleeing from the snakes I stumbled upon a city known as Papua, apparently. Weird place really, all the houses have legs, I don't know if they get up and walk around when they feel like it, or if they have legs for a more practical use....

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I was told in very broken Britannian than I could infact get to Moonglow at the 'Mage shop' if I said some moronic word, what do you know, it worked.
I went straight home and set about trying to remove every-single grain of sand from every-single nook and cranny of my being, sadly I am still removing the grains even as I write this, infact, I'm going to start using two hands now....

[Radek Wilkes]

The Collegium, what a stupid idea.
Necromancers who get off to losing wars all the time.
Seeing a man blown into pieces is somewhat disturbing in your first week back at work. The Collegium we presume, buried a man alive in a coffin along the Eastern road.

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Unfortunately when I removed the coffin from the hole, the man burst out triggering the bombs, luckily I had wandered away before the man decided to blow himself up. He was fairly unrecognisable, so Brian buried his bodyparts. You'd think the Collegium would do something more than wander around Yew taking advantage of weak people on their own, apparently that's all they spend their time doing these days. They showed up at Stonekeep shortly after the bomb-man, after a short fight we arrested them all, and shoved them into cells.
I was made to whip half of the arrested bunch, with various problems with armour straps, and their leader yapping too much, so I gave him a dagger to chew on, stupid bastard.

I also hate sailing, good Lord. So what did we have to do after beating up the Collegium? That's right, we had to go frigging sailing. Not only sailing, on a death-boat that rocked from side-to-side enough without five-hundred sea creatures clinging to it's side because they were pissed off that we threw nets at them. So not only did I have to go home feeling sick, I went home smelling of salty fish.

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Thinking my exposure to insanity was over for the day, I slumped off back to Stonekeep from the docks to crawl into bed, but I happened upon a young lass with a load of farm animals, selling pies. Meanwhile Daven strolled upon us and began bartering with the lass, offering the salughter of her animals for a handful of muffins.

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A normal offer. The lass calmly turned to him and declared that this was an act of war, she then fled into the forest yelling about how she was going to count, or something... women, eh. You know, I'm starting to wander if returning to duty was really better for my health than spending all day cooped up in a room full of sick family members, so far today I've been stranded in a desert, chased through a jungle, narrowly missed being blown up, and had war declared upon me by an angry Skaran farmer...

[Radek Wilkes]

My second run in with the Collegium today, naturally they tried to pretend that nothing was wrong with necromancy and they tried to 'escape' by walking very slowly away from our group. Out-numbered so much you'd of thought she'd go along with it, and let us bully her for a while, oh no, she kept trying to walk away, then the crazy cow attacked me!

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She was floored rather swiftly, naturally, all of this occuring on a recruitment parade in New Haven, that later ventured to Luna.
All moves carried out perfectly if I may say-so myself. The parades were led by Sineal Walker, a strange bloke at the best of times, mind you all of the besiegers are abit like this, anyone who chooses to live their life inside a bank-box with hinges isn't all there, are they?

Speaking of Besiegers, Robert Tripps took us on a 'death-patrol' where no one actually died, perhaps it was due to me. You never know.
He took us all over the place, firstly we killed what resembled 'a greater slug' which was rather tough, I certainly chewed the soil a few times.
We then moved onto Humility and walked for ages, then ventured into some cave, or dungeon effort. There was only small deadie thing in the dungeon until we reached some door that had bloodied foot-prints leading away from it, never a good sign.

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It was a room full of gore, guts, bones, blood puddles, demons and such, horrible, but we managed it, just about.
We then ran around for ages, killing various things and soon enough we ended up at the other end of the dungeon thing.
Now I found myself in some sort of canyon thing packed with elementals of various elements...
A long night.. all in a days work, eh?..

[Radek Wilkes]

Today's entry will be short and sweet, I'd enclose a copy of my event's report, but only one person turned up.
Bastards.

[Radek Wilkes]

Another day, a fresh start, and I've finally managed to use 'Fort Footman' in an event.
Managed to ambush people who were on duty, and infront of the Captain and Leftenant they couldn't dismissed themselves or run off, hah!
I split them into teams and made them beat each other in and around Fort Footman, Tyler's team ended up winning 3 - 1, the winner didn't bother me really, just glad to get a task done.
After a while of standing idle in Stonekeep after my training, Daven took us off to some place called 'Sanctuary' which was easy at first but as we ventured in we slowly all fell to an overwhelming number of ogre lords and such.

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After a divine intervetion by Sineal Walker we managed to grab our things, luckily an ogre lord had decided to lie ontop of most of my things, so I was the only one was didn't get looted.
A new trainee had signed up in Stonekeep so I took him on a patrol to the East Outpost to settle him down, then I went to bed!

[Radek Wilkes]

I'll never forget today, and that's not a good thing.
It started fairly normally, I took a trainee out and showed him the ropes. I took him to the orc fort and helped him beat up orcs for ages, I helped him regain some of his lost gold from a lich, I took him on a patrol of the Eastern road.

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I fetched him some bows, and taught him how to craft his own arrows and bolts, and then took him into old Nihon to test his new bows. Finally I showed him to the archery buttes just beyond Nihon, where I left him to his own devices.
He'll be a good guard if he sticks at it, I reckon.
On my way back to Stonekeep I stumbled upon an ant hole, so I jumped down and fought my way around the wretched place, killing various different shaped and coloured ants.

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Finally scrambled out somewhere near Minoc, so I popped into the moongate, couldn't be arsed to try and find my way back to the hole leading back into Yew.
This is where my day took a turn for the worst. Called to duty by Captain Dart to investigate the bombings further. Little did I know I'd be stepping over trip wires, clearing up corpses and digging up time-bombs.

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I don't even know if I can write about what happened, infact, I'm not going to.
It's just.. I can't even...

[Radek Wilkes]

Finally finished my tasks! Got the last two buggers done last night.
I had to wait until the Captain tried to kill us all by taking us back to that bloody sactuary place with only ten bandages each. Is he insane?
We all fell, and the monsters set about looting us, again. After a long time playing dead on the floor, the waywatchers eventually got everyone up on their feet and out alive.
I say alive, but I did hear the others talking about a missing trainee and Besieger, but that remains to be seen.
After that the Captain told everyone not to run off because I needed them, so naturally about half of them legged it, however I still had enough.
Firstly I did my general orders and parade drill. You know, for experienced guardsmen ranging from Rookie to Captain, they all made mistakes. I suppose it was a win/lose situation, it made my parade easier as I was able to correct them, but you kind of lose the will to live when they can't followed basic orders.

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Then came the bagball, as if it couldn't get any worse. Two of the women were either too scared of the ball to kick it, or simply lacked the brain-power to command their leg to swing back and forth, I have to keep in mind that the marksman is blonde, so that is quite possibly true.
Tenne surprised me though, she was the only one who scored goals, and ended up winning all her matches, even the 3v1.
I dismissed them after having a go at the crap ones for not taking pride in a Yewish tradition, which then provoked a reaction out of James who thought he'd shout at me for a while for telling the truth.
It's a disgrace that people don't take pride in Bagball, an utter disgrace!

[Radek Wilkes]

Was cornered by Walker in Stonekeep this morning, pestering me for his bloody bandages. I informed him that someone had stolen them, I don't know if he believed me, but he responded by promoting me to Rookie. Result!

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Later that afternoon I wandered back to Stonekeep to attend the Tavern Night, to my 'delight' Killian was telling stories of his past, and then he asked everyone to tell stories, naturally we complied. He had an arguement with Madsen because Madsen has no achievements in life or something.
It was amusing anyway. Then Tripps decided he'd try to annoy me or something and sent me away to kill two Dragons.

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I killed two and brought him back some trophies from one of them, this wasn't enough, oh no.
I had to trudge all the way back there and kill another to get it's scales.
What a pain in the arse...

[Louisa Dart]

175 Copper awarded.