Booze Critic

[Bladius Dart]

Trainee Order

Booze Critic

With so many new alcoholic beverages on menu of The King's Deer, it is important that guardsmen know what drinks to avoid and what ones to spend their hard-earned coppers on.

Since the health of a trainee's liver is of less concern than that of more senior guardsmen, you are to test every drink on The King's Deer menu, write a report of your findings and rate each beverage out of ten.

Feel free to put the drinks on Sergeant Vance's tab.

Rules


You must provide evidence of your efforts, including a report and screenshots in this thread.

Reward


Your reward shall be dependent upon your efforts.

Bladius Dart
Captain

[Peter Fox]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/pirateofnp/Grd%20Reports/valueale.jpg

Beverage name: Value Ale
Price: 1ĉ

Review: Poured a coppery amber in color with a big head and heavy carbonation. Aroma is malty with a heavy tinge of cheap hops. Flavour is almost overpowering, and not very pleasant. It is obvious that this ale is produced to be cheap, since little effort has been put into modifying the taste with spices or any form of balancing of the hops and malt. I doubt the brewer who came up with this recipe is proud. The Value Ale leaves a bitter after taste in your mouth, which reminds me of rotting bread. Took two swigs, poured the rest in the plant. Hope it doesn't die.

Rating: 2.5/10

Positives:

Cheap
Pleasant colour


Negatives:

Tastes horribly
Possibly poisonous
Sediment refuses to settle in the bottom due to heavy carbonation.


This is a work in progress, since I can't hardly test all the beverages at once! I'd fall off me chair before I was finished with the ales!

[Peter Fox]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/pirateofnp/Grd%20Reports/trinsicvsyew.jpg

Sirs, ma'ams!
I doubt you ever had a doubt, but just to still yer worried minds, I decided it was time to compare the representatives of two major towns of our world! I decided that I'd do the honours of testing - so you don't have to! Save yer livers'n all that.

I guess some of you are thinking, why in the name of the avatar would you even need a comparison between an ale from pansy Trinsic and glorious Yew?! Well, it can't hurt can it? And it certainly can't be worse than the Value Ale!

I'll start with the first contender, the ale from the purple city - Trinsic Ale

Beverage Name: Trinsic Ale
Price: 1ĉ

Review: The bottle is very flashy, and it's appearance promises a fancy ale, carefully brewed to please the pickiest of patrons. I found it terribly wanting. Now, it could be argued that since Trinsic is a noble town, they'd make the best stuff. But what noble drinks ale, my good readers?! They wouldn't know the end of a good ale bottle from the top! I wouldn't be surprised if they put grapes in there. There's even a bunch of grapes on the label.
The colour's a pale amber, with a small head and not very much carbonation. Due to the low carbonation, the ale has a stale feel to it, and what little taste there is doesn't make itself shown as much. It is clear this ale was brewed for pansies. The usage of barley and malt has been balanced to cause a very light flavour, and it almost feels like someone took proper ale and diluted it with water. The taste of alcohol is non-existant, really.

Rating: 5/10

Positives:

Cheap
Can probably be drunk on duty due to the low alcohol content.


Negatives:

Barely tastes like anything
Is from Trinsic
Feels stale


__________________________________________________ _________

Time for the opponent in this brawl of the brews: our own pride, the Yew Ale!

I'd like to preface this review by saying that I have tried to be as objective as possible when reviewing the two ales, so that the duel is fair. I have tried to put my love for Yew in the back for this one.

Beverage Name: Yew Ale
Price: 2ĉ

Review: As any true Yewman knows, it's not how flashy you look what determines your prowess, but what you do. The bottle of this ale holds true to the standards we've all come to love and wastes no time trying to impress us with flashy labels. It lets it's taste speak for itself. Brewed in aged yew-wood casks, it takes on a slightly darker tone than it's southern brother. When poured, the froth settles in a medium head and is neither too frizzy, nor too stale. It is brewed with water from the springs outside dungeon Ice, fresh barley and hops. The brewing process, as I mentioned earlier, is done in aged yew-wood casks, and the ale takes on a slightly earthy taste from this. The earthy taste compliments the slightly bitter ale well, giving it both a pleasant smell and taste. You will also find that this ale has a slightly heavier alcohol taste, and warms your throat as you drink it. It's twice the price of the Trinsic Ale, but it's definetly well worth it.

Rating: 8/10

Positives:

Great taste
Good colour
Locally brewed, in our beloved Yew


Negatives:

It's almost too good!


So there you have it folks, Yew wins yet another battle! HUA!

[James Palmer]

60 Copper awarded to Fox.

[Seanna]

I started my experiment by visiting the tavern and looking through the menu. Cider is something I do not typically drink, so I thought it would be fair to attempt to review some of the ciders offered on the Yew Tree menu. I ordered one of each of the ciders, and made my way home. There was no way I wanted to chance getting drunk in public. Little did I know cider actually has a low alcohol level, so there would of been little chance of that thankfully had I stayed in the tavern.

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Sam's Choice Cider
1Ç

The good-
It is very inexpensive.
It's flavour does not make you want to spit it back out.

The bad -
It is very inexpensive thus most likely cheaply made with questionable ingredients.
The smell makes one think twice about consuming it.

Review- I found this particular cider to be overly yeasty. It isn't terribly sweet, and the yeast flavour I found was overwhelming. I think it definitely needs more spices in production as the flavour was just bland. I also felt the alcohol percentage is also too low.

This would be best left to a young drinker who perhaps have never had a taste of the "good" stuff.

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Peachy
1Ç

The good-
Pleasant smell and flavour.
Inexpensive.

The bad-
A bit on the fruity side, possibly quite unmanly.
Almost too carbonated

Review- I actually quite enjoyed this selection of Cider. It captures the taste of peaches fresh off of the tree! It is sweet, but the peach flavour can potentially be overwhelming at high levels of consumption. I imagine if a Besieger were order this drink in public it would result in rumours spreading of said Besiegers sexuality. This would best accompany chicken dishes I believe. I would gladly drink this in a relaxing situation, such as home and alone, or during a girls only night.

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http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/5809/booze1.jpg

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Snap!
1Ç

The good-

It has a sharp crisp flavour.
Inexpensive.

The bad-

I cannot think of anything negative about this cider.

Review- It is refreshingly dry and slightly sweet and very crisp! It is also a good replacement for ale! Being as it is so inexpensive I feel this is a grand choice for a lovely drink. It is pleasing to both the sight, the sense of smell and taste. I would recommend it to anyone who loves a good quality cider.

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Crossbow Bolt
1Ç

The good-
It has a strong solid flavour.
Inexpensive.

The bad-
The taste is unusual.
On the dry side.

Review- The apple flavour, while quite distinct, seems to have a very woody quality. I am assuming that is why it is called the Crossbow Bolt. It tastes as if they brewed a decent Apple Cider and left it to ferment in a barrel filled with wooden shafts. The cider itself is on the dry side, which might or might not be to someones liking. It isn't overly sweet, and it is spiced well, it is just that the addition of this woody tone shifts the flavour from standard to out of the ordinary. Despite it's name, I do not think a typical Marksmen would appreciate this cider.

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http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/6839/booze2.jpg

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Apples and Pears
2Ç

The good-
Bright crisp flavour.
Pleasant to the sense of smell as well as sight, a beautiful shade of amber.

The bad-
Potentially on the "girly" side.

Review- Crisp, refreshing, the perfect Summer alcoholic drink. It doesn't heavy you out, and very forgiving on the stomach. It is a solid cider, with a nice, rich color, and a fairly complex flavor. The name says it all, apples and pears. It is fruity and delicious. It is more expensive than Peachy, but is comparable against it regardless of the price increase. Again this also thanks to the name makes this a drink that would be embarrassing for a man to order. That is a rather shame, considering it is such a delicious drink!

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Spiced Cider
3Ç

The good-
It is delicious and warm.
The flavour is amazing.

The bad-
Price wise, this is the most expensive choice on the menu.

Review- This is a full bodied, heavily spiced version of cider. It is heavily spiced, but not overly so. It is sweet, and leaves a warm feeling in your stomach. The alcohol content seems to be higher than the average cider and that would make it a very good substitution for ale. It would be a good drink to round a long day out sometime in the Winter or Autumn. It reminds me of Autumn days, harvests, and just the general changing of the seasons. This is the most expensive of the Ciders on the menu and possibly rightfully so. It has a rich warm flavour and sweet aftertaste.

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http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/6418/booze3.jpg

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Calla Thorngren

[Ian]

60 copper awarded. Very good critique!